Feeling lost

Hi ArmouredPotion.  I am so sorry to read about your Mum.  She is in the right place for first class treatment.  I am not sure what you can do for your Mum but you do need to take it easy.  I am sure your Mum would want you and the baby to be fit and healthy.  It will really give her something to look forward to, holding her grandchild in her arms for the first time.  Treatment has changed so much that there is a lot of things that can be done for your Mum.  I have secondary breast cancer and my treatment is keeping it stable and I have a good life.  Your mum is lucky to have a loving daughter.  Good luck with your pregnancy and hope your mum is home soon.

Lee x

Hi ArmouredPotion 

I am sorry your mum has been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer. I have secondary breast cancer and am one of the Community Champions on this site. Other than practical things like making sure she has a freshly made up bed to return to when she comes home from hospital, I think you have to let her take the lead. She may want lots of people around, or she may feel overwhelmed and want some space. She might want someone to take her to and from appointments (although if she is having chemo, most hospitals won’t allow visitors into the chemo day unit). Most importantly she will want you to look after yourself and will be looking forward to meeting her new grandchild. 

Lots of people live well with secondary breast cancer and I hope your mum does too. It should settle down once it’s no longer a shock to everyone and she has been stabilised. 

Thank you Lee,your kind words mean alot. I'm so glad that you're having a good life, I hope my mum gets to that point too x

She has already said she wants to be surrounded by her children and grandchildren but doesnt want outside visitors, so we have come up with a plan for that as I have 5 brothers and sisters (3 still live at home as the youngest has only just turned 16) and she has 7 grandchildren so far, so its a lot of people. I was more wondering what I can do in regards to her treatment and me being pregnant because everything I've read so far has been confusing, some things are saying to stay away for atleast 72 hours after she's had chemo, some is saying to just avoid her bodily fluids and dont share a toilet. Ideally I dont want to stay away from my mum (unless me or the kids are poorly) but if thats what I have to do to keep my baby safe then thats what I'll do

Hi ArmouredPotion It might be worth giving our nurses a call to understand the risks both ways. Chemo will reduce mum’s white blood cells and make her more susceptible to infections, so hygiene will be important as well as people staying away from her if they are poorly. For the first 24-48 hours or so it’s best to stay away from any body fluids and not use the same toilet but other than that her I doubt if her chemo poses a risk to you or your baby. But treatment regimes and their toxities differ so please check.

Here is some further information on chemo that you may find useful. www.macmillan.org.uk/.../chemotherapy