Build up of anxiety 13 mths post secondary breast cancer diagnosis

Hi AliceT

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with Secondary Breast Cancer.  No need to apologise for off loading as what you are feeling is perfectly understandable and it's good to off load, particularly on here where the rest of us know where you are coming from.

Try doing things that you love to do to take your mind off things.  You might also find that journaling will help you to come to terms with what you are going through. 

Wishing you the best of luck with your results and with whatever treatment your medical team puts you on.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi Alice. I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with metastatic disease last April, 10 years after finishing full blown treatment. It is an awful shock and don't feel guilty for having had years in-between. 

I have anxiety build up, every time scans or appointments are due. I've read so many research papers etc looking for definite answers, which I don't find!

I eventually started going to counciling, run by a cancer charity in my area. This has really helped me, but it took me 7 months before I felt ready to take that step.

I'm continuing to go to counciling where I can talk about all my deep fears and anxieties without upsetting my nearest and dearest. It has helped me talk to them too.

Maybe this is something that might help you. You are not alone, so many of us have that constant background anxiety and not wanting to worry our loved ones.

Best wishes,

Sea Ranger. 

Hi Daisy53 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me it's very much appreciated.  

I've already been on treatment for 13 mths Ribociclib Letrozole & Ibandronic Acid. 

Thank you for your advice . It's the similar advice given to me this morning by a family member who is a counsellor. She talked about grounding , journaling & counselling. I think I had got myself into such a knot I couldn't think straight & didn't want in my head to bother her . As you can imagine she didn't judge but listened , let me cry talk through my fears etc . 

She will always be there for me when I want but thinks it's a good idea to also see if there is a counsellor nearby 

Thank you so much for your response 

Alice T 

Hi Sea Ranger

Thank you so much for replying to my post it's very much appreciated. Yes I totally have anxiety abouts scans & appointments. I had also tried to get travel insurance but after trying a few I've given up meantime. The fact I'm waiting for results didn't help me . 

You will see in my reply to Daisy 53 that I took the plunge & contacted a family member who is a counsellor herself. We are very close to each other but sadly live in different countries now . She is always available on the phone but as I said I think I had got myself into such a tizzy I wasn't thinking straight . 

I will also contact our local Macmillan to ask about availability of counselling .

Again thank you so much for taking time to reply to me 

Alice T 

I think everyone with secondary cancer gets anxiety around scan time. Mine starts building up before the scan (which is ridiculous as nothing is ever said at the scan appointment), then eases a bit, then builds up prior to the oncology appointment. So it’s completely normal and utterly unpleasant. Distraction works to some extent, so do keep busy.  I also understand the frustration with other people’s reaction, I don’t think many people understand the difference between primary and secondary cancer. People who say “you got through it once, you will get through it again” are coming from a place of not understanding. Easier just to smile than try to explain.

On the travel insurance question, have you tried InsuranceWith? They provide reasonable cost insurance for my situation (metastatic TNBC). 

Hi Coddfish 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply it's really appreciated . 

I'm going to try counselling . I agree we all most likely get scanxiety mine just seemed much worse this time at13 mths post secondary diagnosis. 

You are so right it's much easier to smile & say nothing when people can't differentiate between primary & secondary.  Everyone keeps asking me when my treatment finishes !! 

Thankyou re travel ins tip too . Again thank you for taking the time to reply 

Alice T 

Hi Alice T, so sorry you've found yourself in this situation, I have been exactly the same as yourself,  I've found myself in this position for the 3rd time and this time it's metastatic so I've found it so much harder than before,  the only thing I've found helpful is to keep myself as busy as I possibly can,  keeping to a routine,  anything to provide a distraction to this horrible situation , try and lead as normal a life as you can and don't let it completely take over your every thought (easier said than done), "insurance with "are the best for medical travel insurance , all the best Tracy 

Hi Alice

you are being perfectly normal feeling like this after receiving the shocking news. I’m 2 years in from my incurable diagnosis so it’s taken me a while to get my head around it all. I found the first few months the worse time, it’s a shock and a sort of grief to go through as it’s the end of a cycle before the next one begins. My old life changed completely as has yours but many things stay the same, your family and friends and life will just roll on.

 I Get anxious waiting for the results from my quarterly ct scans but some days I forget for a while what I’m going through. I find escapism through watching movies, sport and going out now and again, I also have a MacMillan counsellor to talk to for a few weeks and many kind friends and family. 
I allow myself to get upset and I do get down days but usually there’s always something that lifts my spirits.

 Hope you can reconcile all of the news and learn to manage this , be kind to yourself xx