Hurtful friend

  • 4 replies
  • 31 subscribers

I phoned Mcmillan today for support after a hurtful response from a so called Friend when I messaged and asked her why she hasn't been in touch the same.

I found the response hurtful and selfish.

She started of as a befriender to me 

years ago but we became good friend.

She doesn't work at the support group now.

She said when we first met her aim was to bring a bit of happiness into my life.

Which she did as I had depression  

She now says that is now not working and she can't help me.

Said she had some issues at her work has since moved and loves where she is now

I can understand fully if she doesn't want to hear anything cancer related but the message cut right through me.

I haven't seen her in person for a year..

I've now asked my family and friends if they are okay with me talking cancer related things.

All said they were fine.

Mcmillan were lovely to me when I phoned and told me this wasn't my fault.

  •  It is absolutely not your fault! Not one little bit! You really do not need friends like that in your life. I have found since my cancer diagnoses, that my friendship group has changed. I was a very social person before my diagnoses, the life and soul of the party, the one that everyone asked out at the weekend. That doesn’t happen anymore, I’m not asked, at first it really used to bother me, but it doesn’t anymore. 

    I think as we go through life and we make friends with people, we evolve in that friendship. Sometimes we grow separately, and the friendship runs it course. And that is ok. Her moving on has more to do with whatever it is going on in her life at the moment, and has no reflection on you or the friendship you had. I know you are feeling hurt at the moment, but your true friends will stick by you. 

    Sending a hug 



    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

    Community Champion badge
  • Thank you so much for those kind words.

    I writing this through tears.

    I could never treat a friend like that especially one going through cancer.


  • Hi Luppie I also wonder where my so called friend’s are the two fiends I worked with don’t bother to get in touch and my great friend of 43 years isn’t bothered either why I wonder it upsets me so much because I have been through so much, Breast Cancer at 72 ok for 4 years then bugger me it had gone to my spine so I am on Capetain been on it now for 3 years so after 7years of cancer I am still here, I don’t think about death anymore I did at first but we get used to it in the end My mobility is bad and obviously can’t do the things I used to do but I have a loving family so am very lucky. Take care. Pam.x

  • So sorry to hear about this response from so called friends.

    You certainly learn who your true friends are when going through cancer.

    It's strange and very hurtful.

    I have secondaries to my ribs spine and sternum now.

    Found not long after I finished all my treatment for breast cancer.

    Some days are better than others.

    I'm on Ribociclib a targeted therapy taken in tablet form.

    Take care.

    Doreen x