Intercourse

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Does anyone have advice on how to deal with extreme vaginal dryness while on chemo.  This has made intercourse impossible because of the burning sensation and worry that my skin will tear. It is so sad to miss out on the intimacy with my husband at a time when we are supporting one another  in every way possible He is very loving  and understanding so there isn’t a problem as such but I would like to think we could resolve this. I am well beyond the menopause so I suppose that plus chemo means that after chemo is finished the situation will remain the same. 

  • Hi  . I have vaginal dryness  following my brachytherapy post hysterectomy for Endometrial cancer. I now have to use dilators and I use Optilube which is a sterile lubricating jelly. You can get it on prescription but I think it's available from Chemists OTC.

    I really hope that'll help. Intimacy with my hubby is a distant memory due to his hips & age. I'll let you into a secret, after using dilators I experimented with buzzy toys and at the grand old age of 67 found how much fun can be had. Flushed

    All the best, B xx


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  • Hi  great question. 
    you can get vaginal creams and lubes prescribed on the nhs. It’s also easy to get over the counter. I’d recommend oestrogen or hormone free ones such as:

    -Yes OB (oil based) lube

    -Yes WB (water based) lube

    -SYLK moisturiser and 

    -Replens MD moisturiser

    Use one of the last two everyday or a few times a week. Bit of trial and error to find what combo works best for you, but these are the popular ones.

  • I cant tell you how thankful I am to see this post. I was diagnosed with secondaries in my spine and hips 2 years ago. 

    I am on anaztrosol one a day and monthly denosumab injections.

    Pain pretty bad, especially at night for which I take morphine. 

    I love my husband so much and I know he has needs. I am 65 and he is 73. I like you Margaritt find sex so painful both vaginally and bone wise. The idea fills me with dread whenever the subject comes up. Why dont  Drs take it seriously?  I want so much to make my husband happy. Any help please?

  • Thank you greenery. I will give these a try

  • Hello Mounties. I am so sorry to read that you are in pain ongoing on a daily basis. I find that the most difficult thing about the intercourse issue is coming to terms with yet another loss and one which so many people feel embarrassed to talk about. Let’s hope that some of the suggestions for creams and moisturisers will help. Fortunately my husband a I can talk about it and even retain a sense of humour amidst the tears. 

  • Hello Greenery,

    you kindly gave me advice three months ago now. A lot has happened since then! I became very ill on docetaxel with a week in hospital suffering from c.diff. . As a result, my oncologist decided to stop the docetaxel and concentrate on immunotherapy drugs, pertuzumab and transtuzumab.I feel enormously better and will have another scan sometime soon to see how the treatment is going. As far as the vaginal dryness is concerned, replens did not work for us but Sylk has been excellent and made it comfortable for both me and my husband to have penetrative sex. As said in my original post, it is so important to us to have that experience of closeness while dealing with this disease and treatment.  I hope this is a help to others with the same problem.  

  • Hello Mounties,

    An update on painful intercourse. My husband and I  have found Sylk to be excellent and I no longer have the dreadful burning sensation . We tried replens but did not find that successful. I think it is a case of trial and error until you find what works for you.. I wish you all the best.

  • Im so pleased to hear that re  you feeling better on immunotherapy and with Sylk. Sylk didnt work as well for me, but as you say its trial and error and I am trying them too. i agree - its so important to dcisuss these things (even if just on here) otherwise you end up suffering in silence and frustrated.

    Keep going!

  • Thank you Margaritt. Just seen your reply.

    I will buy some Sylk from the chemist and see if it helps. When I had chemo 15 years ago following my mastectomy,  I thought my sex life had gone for good. But fortunately once the chemo ended my sex drive came back better then before. Sadly there is no end to treatment this time round so I appreciate your help xx

  • Hello Mounties. I really hope Sylk works as well for you as it has for my husband and me. All the best. We need positive experiences !