BRCA1 Gene, post treatment, following surgery

Hi Dave, I can see you haven’t had a reply as yet and whilst I don’t have any answers, I can tell you that I’m in a similar situation and have the very same feelings as your wife. 

My hospital arranged for a psychology appointment pre-op and I have a follow up appointment which I think will be more valuable.  Does your hospital offer this service at all?

Up until surgery I was just moving with the appointments, getting through each stage. Now in recovery from the operation I’m feeling all the emotions and for the first time, really worried about the outcome and future. 

Sending my best wishes to you both x

Hi Dave

It’s a tough one as every one of us would love to be given a guarantee that cancer won’t come back. Sadly, this isn’t possible and something we have to learn to accept.

The way I manage this is by focussing on the things that are within my power to reduce the risk. The most important ones, in my opinion, are taking my medication daily without fail, not drinking alcohol, maintaining a healthy weight and doing at least the recommended amount of exercise. There is a whole lot of research about exercise reducing risk of recurrence and I consider it as much a part of my ongoing treatment plan as the medication. I have entered lots of events to focus on in the future because I DO have a future. It’s difficult to worry when you’re physically challenging yourself and having something else to focus on takes over thinking about cancer (instead of spending all my time Googling risks and statistics I now spend my time Googling my next pair of running shoes!). I know doing these things won’t give me that guarantee, but, if it did come back I can tell myself that I did all I could. 

Is there something your partner particularly likes doing? Something where she could set a goal for herself to work towards? It could be anything, but having something other than cancer to focus on, for me at least, definitely helps to move forward. x 

Hi Saddler 1888 , lovely replies already, just thought I’d pop in with a couple of things that have helped me. First, there’s a great place called Future Dreams, in London, which is for anyone affected by breast cancer. They do in person sessions and also online. Just Google it and you’ll be able to see the sessions they offer. Secondly, although it may be a bit early for your wife, there’s a paper by Dr Peter Harvey called After the treatment finishes, which I’ve found so helpful over the years. I’ll try to post the link but otherwise just do a search. I think it’s useful for family members too. 

Can’t post the link, no idea why. Do search though and have a read, I think it’s a powerful article. 

I’ll also just mention that there’s a group on this site for family members, but you may have found that already. 
Love and hugs to you both, HFxx