Hi all,
I have just been told that I have a grade 3 tumour in my right breast, after getting the all clear from a grade 3 tumour in my left breast 5 years ago.
I got the news 2 days after my 41st birthday, having conned myself into believing that my forties would be a cancer free decade to put the trauma of 5 years ago behind me.
I have a planning meeting on Wednesday, and I appreciate I am jumping the gun, but I am looking for some honest opinions to help prepare for this.
Chemo stripped me of everything, it took me years to process the trauma I went through and although I tolerated it well at the time, the aftermath floored me. Growing my hair back was far more scarring than the initial loss of it, and I had regular meltdowns after I completed treatment. I am in a very privileged position whereby this treatment saved my life, I acknowledge that privilege. However, the thought of what is in front of me is too much for me to process.
I am determined that if it's a choice between chemo and a mastectomy that I choose the mastectomy. I probably don't have this choice, however I am reaching out to see if anyone who has been through both has any words of wisdom for me. Am I being irrational and potentially opening myself up to more long lasting horrors post mastectomy? I don't care about the pain of surgery and recovery, I know I can get through that. It's the mental trauma that lingers once treatment finishes.
Sorry about the self indulgent rant, and any advice from those in the know is extremely appreciated.
X
