Starting to feel real now

Hi Tulip22

Thank you for your post.  I just wanted to reach out to offer some words....

After diagnosis in February 2024,  I had a L mastectomy, without reconstruction and R lumpectomy last April. 

In the time between diagnosis and treatment beginning, there are so many appointments, so much information to get our heads around. I found that there was barely time to think about the reality of what was happening to me.

I think the way you are feeling is totally normal, this is an unknown world. Not only do we have to accept a cancer diagnosis,  we then have to have treatment which changes our bodies and so much more.

One thing I have found helpful, is the knowledge, that no matter what , the world keeps turning. We keep going to bed each night and waking up each morning. 

I'm 11 months in. I am not going to tell you that cancer treatment is easy. What I will say is that it is possible to get through it and the experience is unlikely to live up to your worst fears.  

Be kind to yourself, accept support here and from those in your life. Ask as many questions as you need to. 

As for post surgery. I would encourage you to get a bit of paraphernalia. Things I found helpful:

• Heart shaped cushion for under arm
• Soft front opening bras- there are budget friendly ones in places like Sainsbury's and Asda
• Wedge pillow to sleep in an upright position
• I will be having a second mastetomy and I will definitely sleep in a reclining armchair next time around! Discomfort at night was the most difficult thing physically 
• Something to carry your drains bottle in, small shoulder bag or such like
• Front opening clothing, for both day and night wear
• Do your exercises religiously, they help tremendously 
• I had a therapist before diagnosis and have continued throughout.  I recommend anyone going through this to try counselling/Psychotherapy. It's really helped me manage

Sorry for going on! Please ask any questions. 

Sending all the hugs, Shaka- I chose life!

Hi there. So sorry to hear you are struggling. I was exactly the same; its so overwhelming and you can't help overthink everything. You have so much information to take on.

Please take the support around you and that of the medical team - my breast cancer nurse was my salvation, as felt I could say anything to her, and she helped me see that everything I was feeling was 'normal'.

I'm now 5 days post my bilateral mastectomy. I can honestly say that, so far, it's not been anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. The pain has been manageable and I'm feeling much calmer than I thought I would. I was convinced I wouldn't be able to look at myself, but I have be able to.

My advice would to be  kind to yourself, rest and just go with it and take it a day at a time, accepting there will be good and bad days, but thats ok. 

1. Sending you lots of hugs and feel free to ask any questions if you'd like.

x