I feel overwhelmed

  • 31 replies
  • 281 subscribers
  • 1104 views

I’ve just had my first mammogram a year after breast cancer surgery and radiotherapy. I’ve felt so anxious leading up to it and now afterwards I feel really weepy. I’m anxious about waiting 2 weeks Cryr results and I feel very alone with my feelings. I lost my husband last year and he would have been my support through all this. I have the support of my children and my family, but they’re not herCry I don’t think they realise either,  what it’s like to have been through cancer treatment and the loss of my husband and the ongoing impact it has on me (and how could they know this?) I feel very aCryne and feeling in need of a hug and a shoulder to cry on just now. Cry

  • Oh gosh Celie, you've been through a lot, it's only natural to feel a bit overwhelmed.  And I so know what you mean about the first mammogram after treatment, I was really shaky about it.  I hope you can find some things to distract yourself over the coming days or perhaps treat yourself to something you enjoy.  Be kind to yourself and remember the lovely folks here at Macmillan are only at the end of the phone if you want a chat (0800 808 0000).  Best wishes 

    Community Champion badge

  • Hi Irishgirl,

    thank you for your kind words.

    Hope your mammogram was clear. Hugging

    Best wishes

  • Big hugs to you my friend . Give yourself time what a lot you have been through. It is a day at a time and little steps.You have done so well to get this far. Sadly unless you have been through this kind of trauma no one knows what it is like. 

    I had my 3rd year mammogram today and it still gets me every time. But we are united and will get through this. Always a friend amongst us so reach out Heart

  • Thank you for your kindness.

    I hope your mammogram was ok. We’ll both be waiting for our results at the same time. Fingers crossed

    Sending hugs back Hugging

  • A virtual hug for you. I‘m so sorry for all that has happened to you. People can’t really know Heart️ hopefully you’ll get a good result soon but until then, I hope you get some solace that people do care xx

  • Oh Celine. I am very sorry your husband passed last year and for sure it is normal to miss him and the support he would have given you.  Believe me we are all your sisters and here to offer support.  I totally understand how you feel. Every year when my mammogram comes around I get apprehensive.  That is normal.  I get a diagnostic mammogram every year for 5 years post breast cancer and in August had my third mammogram.  It is different here in the US when you have a diagnostic  mammogram as you have the results before you leave.  They do the 3d tomosynthesis and then the radiologist looks at it right away.  I wish they had that available for you as it really helps with the anxiety.  I do wish you an excellent report so you can rest easy until your next mammogram.  I had talked to my surgeon before he retired and said how long do I need to do these mammograms as I was 73 at that time.  He said as long as you would do some treatment and felt well to continue.  Gee I miss him.  He was 76 and did a beautiful job on my surgery.  My story is full of ups and downs but I do feel well except for some side effects from the hormone blockers.  Hugs to you.  

    Barbara 

  • Aw I am so sorry to hear about your husband. That takes alot of time to adjust to. I’m not even going to say get over - adjust to seems maybe enough?? I’m just at the end of active treatment and am finding this bit unexpectedly hard. People keep saying so when are you getting back to normal then?? And I’m secretly thinking I’ll never be back to normal because of what I’ve been through and the weird drugs I’m on and mainly because of the total terror of it coming back. Small things like my boob now being lumpy post surgery and radiation has me thinking (usually in middle of night!) “how do I know what sort of lump this is?”. I guess I’ll be having my next mammogram in spring 2025 and I pray they just give me the results there and then. I totally agree waiting two weeks - although normal - seems very cruel.

    so wow - sorry that went all about me……. I just wanted to say you aren’t alone. You sound extraordinarily brave….. maybe we shouldn’t be all the time?? I’m always telling my kids I’m fine even when I’m not….. it’s all our need to protect those we love eh?!

    you take care and I bet that mammogram will be fine wIHT my rational head on I  really do believe it will

  • Thank you. I really appreciate your virtual hug and kind thoughts. Hugs back xx

  • Hi Wave Thank you for your kind message.

    Yes you’re right, it’s not something to get over, but rather I’m trying to build a new life while holding my husband’s memory with me. While I miss him in my life every day, it’s times like this when I miss him the most.  

    As to getting back to normal, like you, it’s a new normal. Cancer has happened to all of us on this forum and we can’t go back to what we were It’s hard not to fear recurrence.  Like you,I find it impossible to judge whether the lumps in my boob are scar tissue, lymphoedema, fibrosis or some new growth Grimacing.  I suppose we just have to trust that our mammograms and pills will do the job and do our best to cope and keep positive.  I had my meltdown yesterday, but feel better today, thanks to your lovelyHuggingeply and all the other people who took the time to send love and support. You’re right about us protecting those we love. My daughter was the greatest support to me through the loss of her dad and my cancer diagnosis and treatment. I’m trying not to lean on her too much now.
    Wishing you the best of luck on your journey and when you’re feeling‘weird’ you know where to come for reassurance. HuggingX

  • I had my first mammogram post treatment, five days ago and I’m expecting results sometime next week in the post. Every time the postman walks down the drive I feel apprehensive. It’s another long wait isn’t it and I feel exactly like you.

    It was a tad more uncomfortable than the previous ones but I was expecting that too but nothing horrendous if anyone is reading this and about to have theirs.

    Everyone seems to expect me to be normal now and I had a few tears yesterday too. My husband asked me what was wrong and I remember thinking that he should know! 
    Fingers crossed we all get the results we want.