Single Mastectomy - coping strategies please!

Hi Jo. I've just had a single mastectomy on 15 August with no reconstruction. I'm 44 and I've got an 18 month old. I didn't feel that I could do the reconstruction at this time with the long recovery period and I've got other health issues that may affect surgery. 

I was in tears when I was diagnosed as I was distraught at the thought of losing my breast and didn't know how to cope with it at all. I was devastated that my body confidence would be affected, didn't know what to wear post surgery and I was very anxious about it.

I also didn't want the op to stop me doing things like swimming as I have a little boy.

Post op, I was pleased with everything. I'm still glad that I haven't gone for reconstruction. I haven’t even used the Softie provided by the BCN. I've gone flat on occasions when going out and wore a loose shirt or hoodie and it's not even that noticeable. I'm glad now to be approaching winter and I can wear a loose jumper etc for the next few months whilst I figure out my clothing choice. 

I'm more surprised by my attitude and confidence as I really thought I would struggle with this. I'm not repulsed when I look at my body and consider that I'm brave to have gone through this. 

I'm still figuring some things out but on the whole feel good about it now. 

Please let me know if I can help you at all and wish8ng you good luck and best wishes for everything. X

Hi Jo. Mine is booked for Thursday, I'm having immediate reconstruction. I'm feeling similar to you right now  x

Hi Jo

I had a single mastectomy back in March and it was a real shock at the time, as it is for everyone, and I decided I just wanted to go ahead with it as quickly as possible with no waiting for reconstruction. The op was actually fine and I was home the next morning - all staff were wonderful. I was surprised at my recovery, only needing painkillers for a week before reducing these significantly. I was also able to move about more than I anticipated whilst still being careful. The exercises are important for mobility so do them every day. I'm 5 months on now, have healed well and I don't feel bad about not having reconstruction. I usually wear my prosthesis and sometimes I don't if I'm staying at home all day. I'm not planning on reconstruction at the moment as I'm fine with how things look for now.

In terms of coping, I found that looking at the wound and scar helped and I also took photos daily to track progress for the first few months (maybe sounds a but strange but it helped me to see how well I'd healed over time). My husband was also good with reassurance and looking at the wound without judgement, which helped.  I meditate daily using a guided app and use breathing exercises as well if I'm feeling worried or anxious. I find talking with family and friends  helps as does keeping a diary of my thoughts.

Good luck, I hope the operation has gone well. Take good care xx 

Hi Jo, bit late to the party given you’ll have had your op yesterday but just wanted to say I hope everything went okay & you are feeling okay. I had a SMX + lymph node clearance in July (no reconstruction) & I was surprised at how quick the recovery was. For me, on this basis alone it was the right decision.

The “first look” at the scar will be done with your breast nurse when she takes the bandages off so make sure you have one you trust & like (I did not: I swapped for this and so glad I did). Not gonna lie that first look is pretty hard but once you’ve got through that you will get used to it. 

Buying some nice front opening bras helped me - once you are over the initial recovery phase TU do a lovely Lacey cami-style front opening post surgery bra (with a slot for a prosthesis or softie).

Hope you are getting on okay. If you have a drain that first period with the drain in is pretty shit, but once that’s out you can start to think about getting back to normal again.

You got this

Hi Jo. Hope it all went ok. I had my surgery on Thursday followed by an overnight stay in hospital, I got absolutely no sleep, but came home last night and slept properly so feel much better today. I think the worst thing so far was the hospital stay and not being able to get out of bed, I kept getting stuck in the bed and thinking I'd never get out lol. X

Hi, so glad to hear you are coping with everything so far  Op yesterday went fine and was home last night. It was being driven home through all the floods and traffic, NOT!

In a bit of pain but nothing a dose of paracetamol, ibuprofen and codeine can't sort out. Yes the drain is annoying but hopefully it will be out in the next few days. I was extremely surprised how well I felt after the GA and was overwhelmed by the sense of relief, especially when the surgeon came to visit me and said the tumour has gone! I've looked at my chest and surprised how concave it looks.

Once I'm more healed and settled I will be treating myself to some nice pretty underwear that can hold a fake boob, plus lots of knickers, body creams and nail varnish, just so I feel a bit more feminine again

Hi Janey, hope you are now settled at home and healing well   I came home last night after recovering well from the GA. I'm in a bit of pain but nothing a dose of paracetamol, ibuprofen and codeine can't sort out.

Mentally I am really well, I've surprised myself how I have coped with it so far but the fear of results will soon be back in 3 weeks or so...but for now, I'm going to try to relax and get myself healed xx

They told me to keep warm (heat aids healing), drink plenty of fluids, rest when needed, do my exercises daily and take pain meds regularly.

Take care xx

Jo

Thanks so much Frankie. I'm happy your recovery went well and you're happy to remain flat and coping with it!

I might consider reconstruction down the line, but for now I don't want anything to get in the way of the upcoming treatment. So I have to get used to being flat for a while. I'm recovering at home as the op went well and I didn't need to stay overnight, thank God, as the roof of the ward starting leaking with all that torrential rain!!

No doubt I will be back to panicking about the post surgery results in a couple of weeks but for now, I'm going to rest and heal up xx

I'm so glad you're feeling ok, it's such a relief getting the surgery out of the way isn't it. And now to look forwards to normality. Like you I have to wait for results but I'm just thinking about relaxing and watching TV and eating nice food x

I'm so glad to hear you're coping well and feeling reasonably ok. Hopefully you can just take it easy and start to recover from the op over the next few days - some 'tlc' for yourself is in order. It's one step at a time on this journey - focus on now and treat yourself to what you fancy.

Take good care xx