Help - 33yrs old with 9m old baby, diagnosed and terrified!

Hi Charl33, so sorry you find yourself in this situation. I can't provide much insight as I was diagnosed early January myself and i'm waiting on an mri next week. I have a 3 year old and often go through the same thought process about leaving my little one, its heart breaking and I'm terrified as well.  I'm also analysing every ache and pain and fretting at how long it takes to get any results, you are most definitely not alone in that.

It is hard to do but we have to remember how amazing treatment is these days and how much we have to live for, focus on those lovely baby snuggles when you need to.

There is another charity called Mummy's Star that support women who have cancer within a year of birth, it might be another place to look for support and practical help.

I really hope you start to feel more positive soon, I have up days and down days all the time. Loads of people say as soon as treatment starts it get a little easier,  really hope so xxx

Thanks for your lovely message and recommendation on the Mummy’s Star I will definitely look it up! I just feel like I want to burst into tears when I look at her it’s heart breaking isn’t it.

I’ve been reading a lot today on here and a Facebook support group and as you say everyone says the waiting is the worst I think it’s the feeling of complete loss of control as I am a bit of a control freak in day to day life anyway! So as you say I’m sure we’ll feel better once we have our treatment plans in place. Wishing you the best of luck with your diagnoses and treatment! X

Hi Charl33, I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis, your concern and worry is very understandable. I had a grade 3 multifocal tumour removed a year ago, the main tumour was 30mm but had also spread to a lymph node below my sternum. Its good that your lymph nodes are clear. As this is how the cancer spreads to other parts of the body. Have you been offered a PET scan? I had one after the MRI and before surgery so it was possible to see if the cancer was elsewhere. It wasn’t. Around that time I was experiencing dizziness, and had a ct brain scan which was clear - in my case the dizziness was probably due to all the stress and anxiety, and the biopsy below my sternum. I wonder if your hospital has counselling support - or any services that can help you. I found yoga and reflexology really helpful - free from hospital or charities. MacMillan have a free counselling service..  the waiting is so difficult, eating well became a priority through treatment, it’s something I have control over -  I think it’s really helped me through.. 

take care and sending all good wishes for your operation and beyond xx 

Hi
I just wanted to say that the waiting for results is totally debilitating and the hardest part. Everything you are feeling is normal. I started to get terrible rib and back pain after I was diagnosed and feared the worst. The reality is you are anxious, stressed and not breathing normally/ naturally. You will be holding yourself differently - all of this will make you ache, feel out of breath, dizzy. Be kind to yourself - try and eat even though you won’t feel like it. I spoke to my GP and was prescribed Propananol to stop the sheer panic. This helps you relax a bit and switch off to sleep. 
it sounds like a cliche but take it one day at a time, cuddle your beautiful baby and know that when you have a plan it will feel better. 
you are in good hands and there is loads of support available here.

Big hugs 

A

Thank you for your lovely message, my amazing support nurse has arranged for a CT scan Sunday with likely results on Friday next week a few days before my masectomy. I explained to her the waiting was just too much mentally, as the large suspected cancerous distortion was discovered later to a small grade 2 low risk lump they decided to just do the masectomy anyway without biopsy or scans it had left me with a big question mark over how aggressive this is so I’m feeling a bit better to get some results in the nearer future! Thanks for your kind words of support and wishing you all the best with your journey too! 

Your message almost made me cry, thanks for the lovely reassuring words. I feel so much better since joining this community and a Facebook community, it’s so much better to read and hear people’s real life stories and feelings than the terrifying statistics on Google! Wishing you all the best with your journey too! 

That’s great you’ve got the support of a good breast care nurse and that the scan is happening. The sooner you start treatment the better - I felt less anxious once it began, I hope you do too.. 

Hi, I'm sorry to jump on your post. I've just been diagnosed with expected grade 2 breast cancer 3 day days ago and have a 8 month old baby. The surgeon repeatedly told me he can cure it at the appointment and is sure it hasn't spread but my mri isn't until 27th and I'm also freaking out like yourself that it has spread and I'm going to leave me baby. I have pain my shoulder and arm, I'm trying to tell myself it's from stress but I can shake the feeling that it's cause its spreading. Is anyone else's pain in these areas? 

Hi Charl33, I was very dizzy after diagnosis - convinced myself the cancer had spread. Had scans and it was clear - dizziness is a common side effect of anxiety and stress x

Thank you really helps to hear people felt the same stops me going down a downward spiral! Best of luck with your journey x