Wife pending diagnosis . Please help if you can.

Hello ThisBoy,  Sorry to hear that your wife has a breast lump.  It is early to give any advice as that will come after the diagnosis is made.  Hopefully it won’t be cancer but if it is the doctor will discuss the treatment plan and you can move forward.  There are different kinds of breast cancer and treatments are all different.  
It is good that the testing will be done this week.  There may be more testing too but all depends on results.  
Wish I could be more helpful but once you know more all the lovely people on this forum will be super helpful.  I live in US so will share what is done here too.

Hi, Gp are not the experts, she may be correct but it could be a benign lump. Once you have had your mammogram and ultrasound you will have a better idea but confirmation will not occur until you have your biopsy results and then the surgeon may want further information and an MRI of the breast may be required. All the information will go to a MDT ( multi disciplinary team) meeting. Although we may have breast cancer they are so many variables within that label and the treatment you receive depends on those variables. Some of us have chemo prior to surgery, often if you are HER 2 positive or Triple negative or if the tumour is very large to shrink it, others will have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy straight away. Usually a sample of a couple of lymph nodes are taken at surgery to check if there are lymph node involvement. Following surgery there is again the wait for biopsy results and there is another MDT meeting for the final treatment plan and that depends on hormone receptors, HER2 status, stage of tumour, grade of tumour and lymph node involvement.

My advise is the waiting is the hardest, we all jump to the worse scenario, I hope your wife doesn’t have cancer but if she does treatments have improved greatly for breast cancer. NICE have guidelines that medics follow, so in the uk we should receive the same treatment no matter where we live. Sending a virtual hug to you both, a year ago I was in your position and completely ignorant about breast cancer and the process of diagnosis.

Hi ThisBoy and welcome to the forum. Good to join now and get support lined up, although as Hopeful Barb has said it’s early days and mainly waiting for tests and results. From my own experience, I knew after my breast clinic appointment that mine was very likely to be cancer. I had mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies, as you’ve mentioned. After these I saw the doctor, who said it looked like it was cancer but that it also looked small and early stage. But nothing is definitive until they get the biopsy results. At my results appointment they outlined my proposed treatment plan, which in my case started with surgery. But again, each case is unique and your wife’s plan (if she needs one - do also remember that the majority of lumps are not cancer), will be tailored to her. Sorry you’re in this horrible limbo stage, the waiting is the pits. My main piece of advice is not to Google - so much information there is out of date or just wrong. Stick to sites like this. Sending a big virtual hug to you both, HFxx

Thank you Barbara. 

Thank you Shade. I think I am finding the waiting harder than she is but I don’t let her see that. Interesting that you agree about the waiting. I feel powerless and frustrated as I am a grafter and a fixer of even tough problems but this one has me feeling totally out of control. Your reply has helped me see a little more of the journey that may be ahead of us. Appreciated.

I have always felt for the women I have known with breast cancer but this has brought that sympathy into extremely sharp relief. 

Sending massive hugs to everyone who is suffering and wishing you all the best. 

Thank you Happy Feet. Sadly I literally haven’t stopped googling over the past week. I hope I have been wise enough to ignore things that lack any evidence base and have tried to keep my chin up by learning about the evidence for nutrition, exercise and mental wellbeing in complimenting medical treatment. I have also looked at the newest emerging treatments and see how they offer such hope for the near future to all those fighting breast cancer today. I do think your advice not to Google is wise though and I think I need to stop that now because it drives my fear and anxiety. So, thank you as I am going to stay off Google now and leave it to the Docs, at least until we know what we are dealing with. 

I am scared though. Been with my wife for 10 years and we honestly haven’t had a single argument. She is my best friend.

I send you my very best wishes for a full and lasting recovery  

I was also a googler too and being a nurse I really questioned everything.  Well I did make sure what I googled or saw on YouTube was always evidence based as you can go down a rabbit hole and see absolutely crazy things that are on as alternative cancer treatment.  My advice is to stay with the evidence based standard of care treatments and I do encourage you to ask questions too.  I have eaten plant based for over 7 years and continue to do so as it makes my hubby and myself feel good.  Exercise really helps too as both physically and mental benefits.  I was able to continue cycling throughout all of it but I didn’t have chemotherapy so that made a difference.  Just have your wife do whatever exercises she feels up to.  Just a few tips for you too as it is hard for you too and we understand it.  

Hi ThisBoy , totally understandable to be scared. I think any potential cancer diagnosis leads to a rollercoaster of emotions. When I was waiting for the biopsy results, I imagined that every ache or pain was a sure sign that it was definitely cancer and that it had already spread. Right about the cancer but no sign of spread. The fear is justified but try to temper it with 2 things: you don’t know at this point whether it is actually cancer (I’ve had  several referrals in the past that weren’t, including cysts and a benign fibroadenoma); secondly, if it is cancer, treatments have advanced hugely. I’ve always had breast cancer in the back of my mind as my mother died from it. But I’ve already lived longer since my diagnosis (over 5 years and counting!) plus so far no signs of recurrence. Lots of other positive post diagnosis stories here. 
Re alternative treatments/ dietary support etc - I’ve taken all the conventional treatments and have also used what I view as trustworthy organisations to get information on diet and lifestyle. These 2 I’ve found really useful: Future Dreams House in London - I’ve been there in person as I’m not far away but they do online stuff as well. They’re for anyone affected by breast cancer (which includes you); and the Penny Brohn Centre in Bristol. I haven’t been there but have looked at their information and have done online stuff with them. Will try to post links. I have felt empowered and more in control by seeking that type of support alongside the treatments I’ve had. Sorry for the long ramble, I seem to have lost the ability to be concise! Love and hugs, HFxx

Here is one link….

https://futuredreams.org.uk/

And the other….

https://pennybrohn.org.uk/