Newly diagnosed

Hi sorry to read your diagnosis.   These early days and weeks really are the worst part.  Telling loved ones being particularly difficult.  My eldest son is 24.  I found just sitting down and coming out with it and then all crying and supporting each other was the way for us.  

After a day my son who us emotional at the best of times was really OK with it.  I think younger people are more used to people surviving cancer. He had lots questions some I just had to say I don't know the answer to at the moment.  

Good luck and remember to take time for yourself.  These early days can be exhausting as you support others with your diagnosis.

I too was ER +ve and HER2 -ve and four weeks after surgery I am feeling better than I have in last couple of years.  I am waiting for treatment to start so may feel differently soon but iit's ot been as bad as i thought it would be 

xx

Hello LuckyD,  Sorry about your diagnosis as this is such a difficult time.  For me personally I just blurted it out to my husband after I talked to radiologist and then called our son and told him too.  He was 44 so older and he is is medical field.  I I do remember him saying will you be ok?  I said yes and I could hear relief in his voice.  My son is also very sensitive but I t think since I felt well and cancer was caught early the conversation was easier.  There is no best way to tell bad news but I think being honest is the most important.  They can sense when something is wrong anyway.  
Take care and we are all here for you.

Barbara

Sorry to hear your diagnosis.  I was diagnosed with the same results.  It was not easy to deal with at the onset, but I was upfront with everyone from the day of biopsy.  It was still a shock to get diagnosed but I felt I could deal with it better telling everyone from the start.  My sons took it ok, 36 and 23. Both autistic, but understood and took it well.  They do not show a lot of emotion, but I knew they cared.  Look after and make time for yourself.  Read others stories on here, this helped a lot to make you feel supported and you get a lot of information too.  I wish you all the best for your treatment x

Even just owning up to yourself is the first hurdle. It was like grieving, I felt like it was happening to someone else even after the surgery. My son doesn't really know, he has learning difficulties. I felt quite pragmatic, just do what they asked untill I could process it. Lumpectomy and total node removal. No chemo , just radiotherapy and Tamoxifen. So hard at the beginning, my op was beg of Dec last year.  Trying to normalise where possible. Energy still half volume at times. Xxxx

You are very right there Sabrina22.  It is like grieving. You feel a bit out of control to be honest, and from someone who has always had to be in control, especially with our sons, I found that very hard.  Now, I try to just accept whatever comes along and get on with it.  The waiting i found in between things, is the most difficult.  But I try to take one day at a time and get through.  Not sure if I have to have radiotherapy now and then Letrozole for 5 years.  Wish you all the best x

I totally get how you feel about telling your son. I waited a little while to tell my two (25 & 28). I told them I had a lump and that it needed to be removed but that I’d been told it was small and caught early.  I know it sounds silly, but I gave it a name. I called it Lionel the Lump. Always refer to it this way. It meant I didn’t need to say the word cancer. They asked lots of questions and totally understood what it was but giving it a name seemed to reduce the fear a bit. Lionel was removed on 2nd September and I had good news yesterday that there were clear margins and lymph was clear. Waiting for Oncotype results now before further treatment. I wish you lots of luck with yours.  And I am sure although your son will be upset initially, he will want to be support to you. My two have been amazing.  Very best wishes. X

Hi,

Thank you for your reply.

It's not silly at all to give it a name - I did the same thing with my blood clot and it did help refocus my mind. I hadn't thought about naming my lump, but I like it.

I'm glad you had good news yesterday and wish you well with further treatment. x

Thank you. I hope your treatment goes well.

Thank you.

I had grade 1 invasive ductal carcinoma had a mastectomy in may has I had dcis .The cancer was tiny but I had a lot of dcis nodes were clear so no radiotherapy and on tablets for 7 years and yearly mammogram.I know it's a worrying time .But I here is light at the end of the tunnel My fingers are crossed for you sending big hugs xxx