mental health is really being impacted by recent diagnosis

I know it feels awful now and I can remember the exact same feelings after just being diagnosed. The waiting part really is the hardest part of all this - not only waiting for scan dates but also waiting for results. I found it so much easier once I had a treatment plan. Your lymph nodes are there to catch the cancer on its way out of the breast, so it may well be that your scans are clear. It is routine to have scans with lymph nodes being involved. I imagine the MRI is to try to look for your breast cancer in a different way as it hasn't show on mammogram and ultrasound. It sounds as though your team is being really thorough.

At the stage you are at, I did ring the macmillan helpline more than once. I found it so helpful to express all my fears, worries and anxieties to someone. Somehow, it helped calm me down a bit. Am thinking of you as you wait and hope that maybe ringing the helpline will be good. There is also a helpline with breast cancer now charity too. If you are still struggling once you have a plan, the breast care nurse can refer you for counselling.

Try to distract yourself as much as possible, and fill your time with company and things you enjoy. I found that doing things that I knew would improve my outcome, like exercise, taking vitamin D, eating a more vegetarian, less processed diet, getting control of cholesterol, reducing alcohol intake, a bit of yoga (free short youtube classes) and so on, gave me a sense of control (whereas I had been feeling very out of control). 

I hope you find some joy this bank holiday weekend and some helpful distraction.It does get better with a plan x

Thank you so much for your reply, it has made me feel a little calmer, I do hope your treatment is going well. 
I just can’t seem to motivate myself I just lay on my bed staring into space, 

I originally went to my doctor as my nipple area had become thicker, from the punch biopsy this has returned with no cancer in it however I just keep worrying as they checked my last mammogram which was last June and they said it was slightly thickened then which leads me to think this has been going on for a while, I don’t know why they didn’t say anything then, they have said the nipple is like that because lymph nodes are blocked. 
thank you again for your response and support 

Hi Daunta

By being in this group you will get some support but also can get it from Helpline.

We are all different and deal with this in different ways. I would maybe not Google too much as data is not always up to date.None of us want to be on this roller coaster but you can get through it. 

I never thought I would but once a plan is in place it moves along and each step is a day nearer getting rid of this disease.

I am nearly a year since finishing active treatment and knowing I have done all I can to fight this is a positive vibe.

It is hard to be positive at times with all life's other issues but you can do this I never thought I could but I did.

Take one day at a time enjoy what you can from it and tell yourself it's not going to win. Hugs to you I lost my mum just before diagnosis and have two ASD grandchildren. So I can empathize a little with some of your feelings.On here if you need a chat lots of positive vibes coming at you and all now going through this fight 

️

Thank you for your response, it really does help to have people that have or are going through the same thing, I wish you and everyone all the best xx I think I’m so mentally drained at present and not knowing what to expect from chemo, I keep thinking I’m just not going to get through it, I am doing my best not to google and to try to control my thoughts. 

I have just mowed my lawn though so feeling a little more positive 

And from you both it sounds like this is the worst but and when a plan comes together it feels a bit better 

thank you so much

It’s good to hear you’ve got that positive vibe , well done x 

Hi Danuta, Im sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment. It’s horrible isn’t it. I found the stage that you are at (CT scan following discovery of lymph involvement) very difficult, and I broke down at the clinic. I too found the MacMillan helpline to be very useful and supportive. I used to take just two or three hours at a time, throughout the day, and snuggle under my duvet for an hour when the world felt too much for me. However, it’s sounds like your team are being thorough and very timely. Some people unfortunately have to wait several weeks for the scan, and that makes it even worse for them. It’s the not knowing … it is mental torture. But people on here are kind, and supportive. Xx

Bless you. All I can say is chemo isn't easy but it's not as bad as you think it will be.Nurses are very helpful and it can be tweaked to get you through it. Losing hair was my nemesis. But hats and a wig got me through and now I have curls for the first time ever ️ 

Hi Danuta, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and all that you have going on in your personal life at the moment. It’s is a hard time being diagnosed and having to wait for the results. I had lymph node involvement and was terrified it had spread. I had a PET CTscan and was lucky that it hadn’t spread. The lymph nodes are there and is the first port of call where cancer spreads too. It sounds you don’t yet know what type of cancer you have. There are so many different types and combinations try not not to google things. This can be out of date and often is not helpful and just sets your mind going into panic mode which is not what you need at this stage. Hard as it is a positive mind set is so much better. There is an app called daylight 2 (symbol is an orange semi circle in a white square) which I found really helpful. Treatments are tailored to each individual and they have improved so much over the last few years. Chemo whilst it can be hard going it’s doable. The nurses are wonderful and are on hand at all times. Macmillan nurses are lovely and are there to help and support. If you get chance give them a call, they can offer so much advice to help you get through this. It’s great you have found the forum as we are all going through our journeys and know how you are feeling and we too can offer support and help. 
If you click on my name you can see my journey so far. Other too add there journeys to help as well. 
Someone told me “you are basically a passenger during treatment so try and focus on the view (the good stuff that surrounds us) and leave the driving and stress to your medical team.” And this helped me immensely. 
Wishing you all the best for your journey.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Thank you so much cuffcake, 

all that info is good to have, I’ll take a look at the journeys , I’m very new to this site and still not sure what I’m doing, I hope your treatment went well or is going well, I’ve convinced myself that it’s spread as I don’t feel too well but I don’t know what’s health related and what’s stress and anxiety 

I’m just  so scared that they are going to say they can’t do anything for me 

hugs back to you xxx 

thank you again 

Hi Danuta

so sorry you are going through such a horrible time.  Sometimes in life you just get one thing after another thrown at you.  I don’t know you personally but I get the feeling that deep down you are a strong person. I feel I am strong but my cancer diagnosis just knocked me for six. Until I had op and full diagnosis my mind went into overdrive. I was just curled up in bed thinking of my family living without me. I imagined the cancer was growing every day and just thought such awful scenarios. I am through treatment, just on Hormone Therapy and yearly mammograms but the waiting for full diagnosis and plans is unbearable. Just know that breast cancer is very treatable. I don’t know what to suggest to distract you as I know how hard it is but if you can try and avoid anything negative. I found watching the news made me fearful so for awhile I stopped watching it, I only watched tv programmes that made me feel good so no dramas that were upsetting.Just try and get happy images in your head when you feel scared. Close your eyes, concentrate on your breathing and picture something lovely, your grandson, a field of wild flowers, a lovely deserted beach.  You will get through this and life will get good again. Meanwhile you will get loads of support on here from really lovely ladies that have been in your position.  Good luck on your journey!