So sad

Hello Nov22,  So sorry that you have gotten bad news and it is very overwhelming at first.  Takes awhile to get it all sorted out especially when you are still going through tests.  I remember how I felt about getting bad news and just wanted to have some positive news.  That did come but I was exhausted at times too.  I think you will be surprised how well your boys will handle the news and Macmillan help line should be able to help you with suggestions on how to approach this issue.  I wish you the best and take it easy on yourself.  
I lost 10 pounds during my cancer treatment and did not have chemo so mine was all stress related.  I really had myself wound up in knots.  But I feel really good now and very thankful.  
Happy holidays.

Barbara

Dearest Nov22 I am so sorry you find yourself here and at this time of the year - I know any time is not the right time.  

You are at very early days of the, I can remember only too well how I felt when I first found out - my mind was all over the place and I certainly didn't see things how 'they were' - I seen them how my mind made me feel - like this was it!!  I came here with no hope and slowly learned from the others 'there is so much that can be done and we do get through it'..... You have to keep this in mind now, yes you know 'something' but you don't know it all, a treatment plan will be worked out for you and - you have already done the hard part..... finding out - its the waiting now that will have your riding this hell of a rollercoaster ride, you will stop at different stations but you won't get off it till your treatments are finished - its the waiting at the stops that cause us so much anxiety.

With regards YOUR son's - it is your choice of if you tell them, how you tell them and what you tell them.....

I don't have children so can't help - what I can say is you are at the 'start' of your journey - if you were me (you're not - so you make your own mind up) .... you are at the start of your journey, there is no rush to tell your boys and once you tell them there is no taking it back from them..... therefore, if I was you I would wait till I knew the full story and even then 'if' I was to tell them I would be waiting till after their GCSE's .... that is me though..... I still haven't told my 90+years young mum of my situation... because I did not want her to have the heartache it brings and a selfish reason too.... I didn't want the 'every half an hour..... are you okay, are you alright' - I did tell my sister and brother ... that just seemed they wanted to know the details and once they knew that it hasn't got mentioned (now the difference is - they know, they could ask once in a while, or if I need them to come to appointments or at least offer!!)..... don't get me wrong with regards to mum there are times when I wish mum knew in hope she would support me, hug me and let me know everything will be okay (plus at present I am going through a lot with my mum moaning and picking on me - I have felt like telling her just to stop the way she is with me! - not doubt she'd say I was just saying it  (I say this as I choose to have a 'combined operation of lump removed 'lumpectomy' followed with radiotherapy given internally directly after/same operation - called TAGET IORT .... because of this treatment I was in hospital '1' night (I could of gone home same day, however, I had travelled to London for treatment so stayed the night to be extra sure) - this treatment allowed me to see my mum a day or two later, (I've over ran my story, I did say to mum that I had a little lump and doctor said it was nothing but to be safe it would be good to remove it but it was my choice - so I made out I had this done at the local doctors.....

TARGIT IORT is 'one-shot' radiation given during surgery done to remove breast cancer. It stands for targeted intraoperative radiotherapy treatment given during lumpectomy for breast cancer using INTRABEAM.

Anyway sweet you have found us now and the ladies and gents on this site are incredible - between us all there is nothing they don't know.

Don't stress or worry about it, easier said than done, but you will just wear yourself out - take it a day at a time - be ready for floods of various emotions - anger will appear out of no where - but most of all you can do this - you have no choice, its not about being strong its all about 'you just get on with it'.

I will tag in a thread called the 'AWAKE' thread many of us go in and out of there at all different times of the day and night - we chat about everything and anything - most of all there is always someone ready to listen and lean a helping ear or hand.....

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/breast-cancer-forum/f/general/128753/awake/1817679

Most of all come here and talk - sending big hugs and love to you .....

Hi Nov22, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The waiting for results is the worse and it can be a stressful and worrying time. Once you have your complete diagnosis an individual plan for you will be put in place. This then makes it so much easier to handle. Our eldest to is going through GCSE’s, we didn’t hesitate to tell both our boys from the start and we told ther as it was and didn’t try to cover or sugar coat anything, but understandably everyone is different. We didn’t hide anything as it is a rollercoaster of a ride with tests, scans, ops etc. we also notified the school so they were aware and able to put things in place for extra support if the boys needed it. Our youngest got hit by a car just under a week of me starting chemo, there was me stressed, panicking, crying and he was just taking everything in his stride and knew I would be so worried about him. Luckily there was no internal damage and he is back to his normal self with a few scars and damaged to teeth to be repaired. No appetite is also part of the course but if you can eat even little and often to help keep your strength up and strength up to. Keep well hydrated. Stay positive too. I know all this is easier said than done when you start on this journey. I learnt to accept things and it made things so much easier. Someone told me “you are basically a passenger during treatment so try and focus on the view (the good stuff that surrounds us) and leave the driving and stress to your medical team.” I find this a great way to think of things. You can click on my name to see my journey so far and others have done the same. When you are ready let friends and family know they can be there to help support you and visit the forum for chats it helps too we are all going through this and are at different stages but can give advice of our experiences to help you. MacMillan chat line is also a great way to get help and support too, they may have 
Wishing you all the best on your journey.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

I just feel like I’ve brought this on myself because I’m always thinking about not being here because I’m always sorting out something and my head is always so full and life has been so traumatic and now this and and I just want to not bother. 
I know I sound like a brat and I’m sorry for everything everyone has gone through. I’ve put a brave cheerful face on my whole life and this feels like the last straw

Sorry I don’t know how to use forums and how to reply properly 

So sorry but please try to stay positive,  There is so much support on this forum so you’ve made the right first move.  Here you will find that it’s a journey made by many and you’ll soon learn that it is not so scary once you start your journey.   Keep strong, sending you positive thoughts.  Xx

You should speak to your GP and MacMillan about counselling as it sounds like you've needed support for a while xx

I don’t know how to talk. I so used to keeping quiet and carrying on. Can’t even cry properly just like a running tap and a massive headache 

Hi Nov 22 

So sorry to hear you are in this position. It is all so daunting and so much to take on board . Your mind goes into overdrive and we always go to the worse case scenario 

I did find positivity helps but hard to get into that mind set. Obviously don't know how much you have said to your boys but maybe wait until you know more facts as they will do what we all do and imagine the worst. There is support out there through Macmillan to help with telling children and teens so maybe worth investigating. 

Once it's all out there and you have a treatment plan life becomes still scary but do able .Staff are so kind and will guide you through whatever you need doing. 

Try to enjoy Christmas with your boys and you will get through it all. Big hug be kind to yourself xx

Hi Nov22

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I have nothing to add to what every one else on this thread has told you but I just wanted to reply to you.  When you feel up to it you can click on my name and it will tell you something about my journey with breast cancer.  Just know even though it doesn't feel like it now there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment.

Best wishes

Daisy53