Just diagnosed

For me, the hardest part of my diagnosis was telling my (grown up) children.  I waited until I knew it was Stage 1 and very tiny so I could follow up 'I've got breast cancer' with 'but it's been caught very very early and is totally treatable' Once people realised that they were fine, worried but ok with it.  To be honest, I am very blase about it all which I think helps, it's how I cope.

Everyone copes in different ways and you will find the best way for you.  I do find that I put a happy face on occasionally so that other people don't worry but I am honest in front of my husband, it's my release.  I am 8 weeks since diagnosis and to be honest, rarely get upset about it now, maybe that will change when I start radiotherapy :-)

You will find your way, look after yourself and cry when you need to cry x

Thanks Tinks. It sounds like you did what I’m hoping to do - follow up the “I’ve got breast cancer” with “but it’s been caught very early and there’s nothing to worry about”, but I can’t say that with any confidence until I’ve seen the oncology team a week on Thursday. Telling my step-daughter is going to be hard, and telling my dad, my sister and her kids is going to be hard given their recent experiences of cancer. It’s why I want so much to be able to say with certainty that I’m going to be fine. Am I allowed to send virtual hugs to you? x

I think I got more stressed thinking about the how and when to tell people than anything else! I have been really lucky with the speed of everything though, from biopsy to operation was 2 weeks and that included 7 days for biopsy results!

all and any hugs welcome, thank you and back to you (my name is Trudi by the way) xx 

2 weeks! Wow, that’s impressive! I am wondering how soon after seeing the oncology team my treatment will start. Now I know there’s a Bad Thing in my boob I just want it removing and as quickly as possible!!

I’ve just been writing a “to do” list for work so that when I speak to my MD next week he knows just how many things I’m trying to do on top of the usual day-to-day stuff, and I’m on my third page of A4 :(. I will get some of those things crossed off in the next week or so, but there’s no way on God’s earth they’ll all get done before my treatment starts!!

Thank you for the hugs - let’s keep them bouncing back and forth between us xx

I know, it was so fast. Had biopsy one Thursday, back the following Thursday for official results, visit with the surgeon on the Monday and op Thursday of the same week! I have first Radiotherapy consultation this week so I’ll find out if I need 5 or 15 sessions then I can just put all this behind me  
Again I’ve been very lucky and I haven’t had to take any time off work, apart from half day for my op. I hope your employer are supportive 

Bouncing hugs sound good  xx

Hi there,

I was so worried to tell my mother. I am 46, married but have no children. My father died a year ago and my mother was struggling to cope without him. I am originally from Germany, where my mother lives, but have been living in Ireland for 22 years. So I had to tell her over the phone. First I only told my 2 best friends and my sister. So we decided that my sister will go over to be with my mother when I tell her. I was so nervous. But she coped pretty well, and now she keeps sending me parcels with goodies. And we talk a lot on the phone or send WhatsApp messages. Once I told her I was so relieved. 

So I had my lumpectomy, have my heartscan next week and hope that chemo will start before easter. Then targeted therapy, radiotherapy and hormone therapy. The oncologist told me last week that treatment will last a year, that was another bit of a shock. But now I just want to get started, even though I know I'll be nervous again when chemo starts. It is the not knowing what to expect I guess.

I think you are doing the right thing by waiting until you've got all the information. It will make it easier to tell your family. 

Fast is definitely good. Once you know you do just want to get going with things, don’t you?

My employer has been very supportive with other employees who’ve had cancer so there’s no reason to think they won’t be the same with me . I’m luckier than some in that respect!

Let’s keep those bouncing hugs going xx

hugs to all you wonderful women supporting each other on this thread. When I was at the beginning of my journey a very wise friend told me that I must not feel responsible for managing how other people felt about my situation. This was excellent advice. People will respond in their own way & there is little you can do about it. I found using my resources to cope with treatment & get through it was the thing to prioritise. This was the best thing for everyone really. I found my emotional resources were low at times during treatment so this was a good strategy for me. Good luck xx

That’s very good advice: thank you Greatcrestedgrebe, I will try hard to keep that in mind as I start to tell people. Hugs to you too xx

Oh bless you! It sounds like you’re going through the mill! The worry with my dad is that he internalises a lot of things so may not really express how he’s feeling once he does know. He’s unlikely to talk to me under the circumstances but I hope he does talk to my sister or one of her lot once they all know.

It’s encouraging that you think I’m doing the right thing waiting until I have all the facts before going public. Best of luck with your treatment and I hope it all goes well xx