Are we allowed to be selfish ?

Probably not but am trying x

I think we can easily be totally wrapped up in cancer, figuratively...before I had it I can't imagine what I thought about all day!!! Yes, be selfish. Eat well, enjoy telly, buy nice treats if you can afford them. Look up at the beautiful moon each night and just "be in the moment".....life today is good  that's all you need to focus on my friend xx

I have found myself saying no to my family more.  I have an adult son who I adore and would do anything for, but have had to say no and to be fair he's stopped asking for lifts or other little stuff.  I will now ask for help in getting shopping to a car from local shopkeepers for example.  To be honest people are more than happy to help, I'd never ask for help before, I am majorly independent by nature.  My partner is amazing and wants to help.  I'll refuse lifts for blood tests and he'll insist that's he's taking me.  Cancer has changed me in some respects, I have learned that people want to help, it's not selfish, people want to feel useful and a genuine thank you goes a long long way.

I have also learned that unless I am well I can't help other people, so getting well and putting myself first means that I'll be there for them in the future, well healthy and happy to help again.  I'm trying not to think of it as selfish, but I'm still retraining my brain, it doesn't come easily.

I'm like you it's hard to ask for help. For the past few months, cancer is all I've thought about and wondered what I did before. I'm trying to look after myself now treatment has finished. Coping with effects from radiotherapy and trying to be a little nicer to myself. my body as well as my mind has been through a lot (never mind the effect of the pandemic as well) x