So I have not told my folks that I'm beating BC senseless. I started taking Tamoxifen a few days ago and my oh my! The emotional roller coaster you guys eh! I was so happy yesterday as I went for a walk in the park and guess what? I've been indoors all day today. Crying my life out of my eyes. I feel overwhelmed.
My mother is my friend so I rang her earlier today. I told her I was feeling awful and she encouraged me. However I wanted her to do more than telling me all will be well. Unfortunately I've not told her what I'm dealing with so the guilt of secrecy is eating at me. I ended up feeling worse after that call.
Finally the dating scene. Come on United Kingdom! Where do single ladies meet people to date? I've been here for two years now and i have not found any eligible bachelor around. Don't tell me to focus on treatment first. I want anything else that's not constantly reminding me of my treatment .
My radiotherapy should start sometimes in August. All tits out. Been practising to be top less for a couple of days now. I'm quite self-conscious so this is a new one for me. Oh well, if I ever had secret dreams of being a nudist then this is good practice for me. Yes I'm laughing because humor is my new defense mechanism.
I wish I could travel back home and tell my folks what is happening. UK is a sad lonely place for me. I have reached out to some girls in church who are leaders in my bible study group. I want to tell them so that I can have some company once in a while. I hope I'll be brave enough to tell them. I hope I do...I really need to allow people in my life to care ...even once.
I will beat this.
