Am I alone in wondering why people say the most ridiculous things to me in an attempt to empathise maybe or be helpful? How do you cope with it? From lectures on dropping dairy, turmeric curing me, friends who sailed through chemo because they were ‘ strong’ , all that warrior language irritates me, you’re the strongest person I know you’ll kick it’s arse, you need to be brave, only strong minded people get through this. Oh you’ve had to shave your head? Shame you could’ve saved it, not likely it was coming out in chunks, at least you’ll get ready quicker, less time in the shower, great to be signed off work in the summer though! My aunt/friend/work colleague had it and tried xyz, they were amazing, they died sadly!!!! I could go on on but recently my patience is wearing thin and my smile and words of thanks are slipping somewhat. A friend texted me and said don’t worry you’ll be fine and I could help it, asked for a look in her crystal ball!!
How do others cope with it? My default is humour but it’s running out!!!!
I totally get where you're coming from. I'm quite introverted and have a small group of very close friends who have all been very supportive but that doesn't mean they haven't said some of the many, many things others in this thread have found themselves listening to. In fairness, I think (as someone else said) people don't really know what to say so resort to the usual "you'll get through this", "be strong". Actually my partner said the worst thing to me when I was at the very beginning of this journey and waiting for biopsy results - he said "you'll just need to put your big girl pants on". I could've thumped him!!!! Another close friend pointed out it could be worse as at least I don't have pancreatic cancer. My manager at work, on hearing my diagnosis, said it was "the best bad news as if you're going to get cancer, bc is the one to get". I know they all mean well but I've actually found myself avoiding friends as I just can't deal with some of their comments.
It is really hard, that’s why I started that thread back in 2021, I knew people meant well and I really appreciated that, but it also drove me nuts hearing them over and over again. When I saw the new thread in a similar vein it just made me think nothing changes! But at the time, sharing and hearing other comments helped me smile/laugh about those things and take them with more diplomacy, mostly! All the best to you and when things get your goat you can come on here and let rip xx
Hi Anna12345
One of the many, many great things about this forum is that it gives us a space to vent when we need it ️ In the meantime, I'll just try to bite my lip
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