Starting to avoid people because of the silly things they say!!

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Am I alone in wondering why people say the most ridiculous things to me in an attempt to empathise maybe or be helpful? How do you cope with it? From lectures on dropping dairy, turmeric curing me, friends who sailed through chemo because they were ‘ strong’ , all that warrior language irritates me, you’re the strongest person I know you’ll kick it’s arse, you need to be brave, only strong minded people get through this. Oh you’ve had to shave your head? Shame you could’ve saved it, not likely it was coming out in chunks, at least you’ll get ready quicker, less time in the shower, great to be signed off work in the summer though! My aunt/friend/work colleague had it and tried xyz, they were amazing, they died sadly!!!! I could go on on but recently my patience is wearing thin and my smile and words of thanks are slipping somewhat. A friend texted me and said don’t worry you’ll be fine and I could help it, asked for a look in her crystal ball!! 

How do others cope with it? My default is humour but it’s running out!!!!

  • Back on the antibiotics! Hopeful I’ll feel the benefit soon. Every time I have chemo it comes back. I agree, re confidentiality, luckily I didn’t know the other two people, one was waiting for an interview!! The other was very elderly x

  • Unbelievable! Definite breach of patient confidentiality. Hope the antibiotics work!  

    Take care. x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Anna12345

    Hi, I'm sure you will, must be annoying knowing what's going to happen before it does b****y chemo, hopefully one was to deaf to hear and the other to nervous for interview to take any notice lol

    Take care x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Lottie pooch

    Hi Lottie pooch had my first chemo they gave me Poditaxel infusion and injection in thigh every 3 weeks Trastuzab a steroid for sickness also a tablet for my gut. I feel ok was there 5 hrs. I go everRainbowFriday 12 or 18 weeks until it shrinks. I hope your going ok big hugs xxZiniRainbowRainbowMy heart scan was good and dfd blood test came back ok 

  • So! Yesterday my 12 year old and I went to a popular outdoor Waffle House which has marquee seating outside but is queue for a table. Bizarrely nobody in the queue was socially distancing but! We left a healthy distance between us and the group in front of us, the next couple who joined the queue behind us were let’s say 30. They stood right next to us. I say ‘I’m so sorry but please could you take a step back, I’m having chemotherapy and am immuno suppressed an arms length would do’ The woman looks at me down here nose and says, ‘why are you wearing a mask, it’s totally pointless?’ ‘We’ll have to agree to disagree can you step back’ which they do, one tiny step, we also move a step away into the gap we’d created in front, at that point they both start arguing with me about wearing masks. It’s a FACT they’re useless, why am I bothering, if I’m so scared why am I out. WTH!!!! I just said ‘I’ll follow the advise of my doctors thanks’ and turned my back. They carried on bitching under their breath and making silly gestures. My daughter was really shaken up. What is wrong with people??? Before you ask I was in my beanie not a wig with my picc bandage visible. I actually couldn’t believe it. She was wearing a t shirt I noticed afterwards with something written on it about freedom and a freedom party hashtag of some description, obviously only her choice of ‘freedom’ counts….

  • Some people just astound me. Its a personal choice to wear a mask. I still wear mine to go round supermarket. I bet they weren't vaccinated. Just because you have cancer doesn't mean you can't go out. Hope you and daughter are OK. 

    MaskSpeak no evil x

  • Hi Anna, I didn’t stand right next to people when there was no Covid, it’s called personal space, I don’t get why complete strangers think that it’s ok to invade it, that’s just plain rude anyway and as for masks it just winds me up the amount of stupid people living in this country that think it’s their right to tell someone they’re wrong for wearing one, that they don’t work, there are enough research papers out there that say they do. I still wear one, I live in Wales and they are still required for all shops and work places, even the staff in Starbucks still wear them even though some of the customers don’t, I for one will be wearing one for a long time to come. I agree with Tired minion probably anti- Vax too. 

  • This makes ,e so angry! It is your choice, not theirs and if wearing a mask makes us feel more secure then so be it!

    I wear one all the time outdoors. They are entitled to their opinions but should keep them to themselves not pontificate to vulnerable people!

    Probably another anti-vax pair! Live your own life!

    Hope you and your daughter ignore these ignoramuses and do what is best for you.

    Good luck. x

  • People have some very strange ideas about what people with cancer can and can't do, don't they. I have a friend who constantly says "Do you think you should be doing that ?" Like pulling some weeds out the garden which I do in bursts now and again and stop when I'm tired. She also says she has long Covid and thinks that's funny too. She has never actually had Covid so can't possibly have long Covid. I don't think its funny at all. Went out yesterday and hardly anyone wearing a mask in crowded areas.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    It's so annoying, I hate all the warrior rubbish  I'm not strong  I'm just doing what I'm told to do in order to survive...and a friend keeps sending me stuff about not to eat dairy and to eat plant based food...jog on...