One day to go to Diagnosis

Imarah

Don’t apologise, what you’re feeling is absolutely relative in the circumstances. You are experiencing the feelings we all go through so don’t feel feeble or guilty. Take advantage of every support offered. 

Best wishes for tomorrow.

Eline x

Please don’t apologise, no matter how we all look we all felt the same I’m sure, I know I did. All I can say is try, as hard as it is, not to preempt what is going to happen and try and cross the bridges as you come to them, the ‘what ifs’ drive you mad otherwise and remember, others experiences may not be yours, we’re all very different. But I’ve spent my fair share of sleepless nights and worried days too, keep talking to your husband, friends who listen properly, not always the ones you think! Talking will help you process things on my experience. Good luck and massive virtual hugs x

Thank you Eline x

Thank you Anna xx

Hi Imarah,the morning of my appointment was a complete blur, I suppose I was kept occupied by the fact I had to take my daughter to work first, so I was rushing around as usual. The nurse wrote down in bullet points everything the Doctor said so I had that to refer too, she also gave me lots of booklet to read through, it took me a while to even look at them when I got home. She did ask if I was alone so I wondered after whether I could have taken someone with me, but I never thought to ask. Are you able to take your Husband? 
It’s only natural to think the thoughts you have, there’s nothing feeble about it and there’s nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself, this is scary s**t.

After I had my results I had a complete melt down even though I knew what they were going to tell me, my partner did too, it’s still such a shock, my mother and sisters were hoping it wasn’t cancer, but I had no such illusions. I would burst into tears about anything and I spent my time thinking the worst, it’s very hard not too. I did stop crying though because I decided that it was a lump that I needed removed, I decided I wouldn’t call it cancer anymore and it made me feel a little bit more in control I suppose.

But don’t forget it’s completely natural to feel the way you’re feeling .

Sending big hugs for tomorrow 

Diane x

Oh Diane ! You’ve just described me exactly! I like you have a feeling that’s it’s going to be a Nasty even though my husbands is trying to reassure me that it’s not. 
I’ve just phoned the clinic and thankfully my husband can come with me but even then I was shaking in the telephone. 
i hope your surgery went well. They told me mine is 8mm so I’m wondering what kind of operation you had? 
Thank so much for responding when you only had your op the other day. Are you home now? 
i am just hoping that if my fears become reality that they just get rid of it as quickly as possible. 
sending hugs xx

Hello Imarah

Just sending you big hugs and want to say that what your are experiencing now at the not knowing stage is in my experience much worse that dealing with what you do know.

I was diagnosed in darkest Covid times, and although it is normal procedure now to ask patients to attend alone because of the Covid control measure. However, for that appointment to break the news of the diagnosis, I was advised by my Specialist Nurse to bring someone with me. I lost my husband and best friend of 40 years just 6 months before I found the lump so my best girlfriend came with me. She was asked to wait in the entrance foyer, while I waited in the waiting room. When I was called in, the nurse went and brought my friend in. My friend was a great help to me in remembering afterwards what had been said, and also at the time, in asking questions related to the diagnosis, more tests and the treatments, because my mind just went blank.

It would be worth while asking if you can take your husband and making a list of the things you want to know and referring to it during the appointment. The staff do know what an ordeal the waiting can be and how difficult it can be being alone at an appointment like that.

Don't feel apologetic about how you feel, but do vent and let it all out. A problem shared is a problem halved. Speak to friends and family and use this lovely community here as a sounding board. There is always someone here to lend an ear and give advice. Everything we are going through, someone else has gone thro before us.

Big big hugs and let us know how you get on.

Wallydug

Thanks Wallydug. It’s helping to hear so many words of encouragement. 

Hi Diane. Was wondering what tests you had between your diagnosis and your op ?  Am just trying to get my head around what might happen xx

I had a CT scan and several MRI scans at different stages through the chemo cycles, just for the medics to be sure that it was actually being effective. I have heard that they sometimes change the chemo if it is not having a demonstrable effect that they can see and measure on the MRIs..

Also, I had Ecco Cardiograms before and during chemo, to make sure that heart function was not adversely affected [it was not, and that is reassuring to know]

Friend asked about whether I would get a Dexa scan to look at bones/ for any osteoporosis, as some of the breast cancer meds/chemos can predispose us to osteoporosis. Oncologist said no, as she would be giving me the Zometa infusions every 6 months anyway. This is also a treatment for osteoporosis.

Also, before every chemo cycle they do blood tests to make sure that we are fit to have the chemo and have enough of the different types of blood cells. The onc prescribed the next chemo doses only after checking the results.

It is a lot to take in, but all of these things are done to help us get the best possible outcome 

Friend also asked the question about the dreaded hair-loss. What we know about, we can deal with.......and we do!

All the best, let us know how you get on.