My partner was was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a full mastectomy and full lympnode removal 20 Apri. She isl ER+ PR+ Her2 -. A couple of weeks ago we met the oncologist who was clearly not happy when she said she didn't want to go down the chemo radiation route. Saying that in his words ' She was denying herself'. I was with her at this appointment. She told the oncologist she didn't want chemo or radiation after watching friends and family suffer and then die after treatment. And she didn't want that for herself. The oncologist kept looking towards me but I remained silent until the end when my partner asked if I wanted to say anything. I said that I supported her as it was her body, her life and her choice. Having been diagnosed myself with cancer in early 2017 she has always supported me in my choices.
Tumor margins were clear with one lympnode affected but with no extracapsular spread. Her CT scan was clear on 17 March.
The problem she has is that the oncologist didn't tell her what stage her cancer even though she directly asked him at this first appointment when she asked him. Neither I nor my partner can remember what he said. He just waffed something as if it didn't matter. We knew the grade from the pathology after her surgery.
She has now recieved a letter via our GP from the oncologist but not only has the oncologist not put the stage of her cancer on his letter but he had not even verified his own letter. It reads 'Dictated not read or approved'.
My partner is shocked and annoyed by this and feels the oncologist is not doing his job properly because she will not have chemo and radiation though she has agreed to have an aromatase inhibitor. I too feel that not putting her stage of cancer in the letter and not bothering to even approve or sign his own letter is a dereliction of duty and care. My partner has been in touch with our GP for assistance and a week ago she left a voicemail with the oncologist's sceretary, but she has had no return call or letter. The GP has also written and contacted the oncologist by phone but still she has not been given her stage. She feels very frustrated by this and doesn't need this kind of stress.
It has been suggested she complains to PALS but she doesn't want to go through this long and stressful procedure when the oncologist is clearly not doing is job and being as awkward as he can possibly be as seh asked for her stage at the appointment, and with his secretary. My partner has now asked the oncologist's secretary twice and involved our GP who has also asked for a letter confirming her stage and that she recieves a lettter tha the oncologist has read, sgined and approved and includes cancer stage.
Anyone else had these issues with a NHS oncologist and any advice please.
My partner has just this morning recieved a telephone call from the oncologist's secretary saying she sent another letter out with the stage on the letter. This has just landed on our mat. Once again the oncologist has not signed or approved his own letter. My partner is clearly not happy to yet again recieve a letter that is unsigned and not approved. She made it clear to the sectretary that she is not happy. The secretary's response 'I am sorry you feel that way'. 
'' ''These letters are electrocially sent'', as an excuse for the oncologist not signing his letter. . My wife said that matters not and asked why the oncologist once again did not sign and aproved his own letter. She also said to the secretary that she has a right to be upset about this and asked why he had not signed this letter either.
The secretary refused to say why it has not been signed and approved again and refused to say if she has asked him to sign and approve these two letters. My wife asked for a letter of appology and an explanation of why she has had to repeatedly request her stage and still waiting for a letter from the oncologist with his signature on it.
She feels it is deliberate to then send a letter out with stage now on the letter but once again the oncologist has not signed and approved. The excuse that is it electronically sent therefore there is no signiture is nonsense. A
I too am appalled by her treatment. I have know my stage and grade of my own cancer from very early with a signed letter.. I have not had to continually chase letters like my partner has had to do in order to get anything in writing from the hospital. She is feeling very upset by all this naturally. She says she doesn't expect any apoogy in writing when the secretary is 'sorry she feels this way'. She told the scretary that she shouldn't feel sorry becaus she e is upset and complaining when she clearly has every right to feel this way.
My partner also told the secretary to convey to her boss that she is upset regarding his lack of duty of care.
Hi LaLaLou and thank you for your response. I was personally told my cancer stage and why this is important and all my letters have been recieved quickly and always signed and approved, without me being forced to chase up letters, which my partner has had to do. The fact that my partner asked in her appointment what her stage of cancer was and wasn't told - then it was missing from the oncologist's letter and the fact that the oncologist said 'she was denying herself' are indicative to me and my partner that this oncologist is being akward.
It actually says that staging is important on Cancer Reseach:
''Why staging is important'', and the reason that staging is important is because it helps the treatment team to know which treatments you need. My parnter's oncologist is recommending chemo and radiation without explaining why and her stage, which both she and I feel is not right.
You are correct when you say it is my partner's choice to not have chemo and radiation after seeing friends and family die horrendous deaths and her oncologist should have listened and accepted this and not made a personal comment 'that she was denying herself'. It is her personal choice and he should have respected her choice as I have. She has read lots of pubmed and been reading about cancer since her two best friends were diagagnosed and went down the chemo and radiation route, both died. My partner is fit othewise and her personal circumtances of watching friends and family die after chemo she clearly doesn't want to go that route. She has always made this clear to me even before she herself was diagnosed. I am glad you too feel happy in choosing to have chemo and radiation; but that is the point isn't it. We all make our own choices when we are diagnosed. I actually declined major surgery myself and just decided to go with immuniology I am happy with that decision and my partner supported my decision and I have been clear of cancer since 2017.
I was given my TNM staging, but she has not been given this by her oncologist. I too wish you all the very best with your treatment and choices and respect that your choices have also been well considered and reflect your personal cricumstances. She has requested to be given her cancer stage and a verifeid and signed letter. She has based her decision on a clear CT scan, clear margins and only one lympnode that had no extracapsular spread. I accept and understand that you feel that having chemo/radiation will give you the best chance, but from my experience and my partners having seen friends and family go down this route, that this is not our opinion and reflects both her choice and mine not to go down that the chemo/radiation route.
https://www.foxchase.org/blog/cancer-staging-why-it’s-important-and-why-accuracy-matters
''If you’re diagnosed with cancer, one of the most important things you’ll learn is your cancer’s stage. It’s a way of describing how much cancer is in your body and where the cancer is located.
“That knowledge is crucial since doctors need to know your cancer’s stage to advise the best treatment options,”
