End of Treatment Emotions

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Hi everyone,

So Friday was my last Herceptin/Perjeta treatment I've spent most of the last 12 months counting down in 3 week blocks to 23 October.

I'm happy of course and I'm proud of myself for getting through these last 15 months. I've done well so everyone tells me , I feel great and ready to get on with life......as soon as the pesky virus will let me!!

I guess I wasn't expecting to also feel a little sad.....I remember shedding a few tears on my first day of chemo - I didn't want these horrible drugs in my body. So why did I also shed a few tears on Friday when it was over? I suppose because those horrible drugs have done a great job for me and I'm so thankful for them. Maybe they have also been a comfort blanket? The worst part of all this was over for me in February after my op and finding out the chemo was successful. The immunotherapy since then has just been part of my routine and I've had no issues with it. Maybe the diva in me has also enjoyed the attention and having all these wonderful people looking after me!!!

So now I guess I'm in the 'What now....?' phase. No more machines, only a couple more appointments - to get port removed and 1 last echo in December - then it's just me & the Tamoxifen and the annual mammogram. I think I'm ok with it though. I know that those wonderful people are at the other end of the phone if I need them, they aren't abandoning me. And I know I will still always be part of this community if ever I have a wobbly patch.

To be honest, 98% of the time, I am able to put any worries out of my mind and not think will it return? I think of all the things you could worry that might happen, but you can't spend every day thinking like that. There are so many people on here, on TV etc who have been through this and have been back to getting on with their lives for many years. Why wouldn't I also be like those people, especially with all the amazing treatment I have had. I have been given every chance and I'm grateful for it.

To anyone who has only just found their way here and those of you in the middle of treatment, stay positive and hang in there. Time flies really and it's hard to believe how quickly you find yourself out the other side. The journey has some scary moments, yes, but it's not all scary. There are some very clever people out there who know exactly what is needed to help us get better. Trust them. As they say in the advert, cancer won't win, we will beat it!!

Good luck xx

moomy over 5 years ago

Congratulations on putting a big chunk of your lengthy treatment behind you! At this stage I think it would help you to seek out Dr Peter Harvey’s paper on when the treatment ends, then what? As it really does describe the leg down feelings of the end of those regular appointments, and knowing a tiny part of that comfort blanket of experts withdrawing.

sending you hugs xxx

Moomy

West End Girl over 5 years ago in reply to moomy

Thanks Moomy. Yes, I have read that paper and definitely relate to it. The biggest thing I took from it was about regaining trust in your body....a little twinge or bump doesn't mean the cancer is back. I found it really helpful to read that part of the advice. x

moomy over 5 years ago in reply to West End Girl

You might need to read it a time or two, honestly, as different parts resonate each time! Glad you found it though....

Hugs xxx

Moomy

Pusheen over 5 years ago

Hi west end girl

Love your post and just wish I could try and not think about it coming back. I am struggling with that bit but otherwise well and due to start new job soon. I admire your positivity and agree with all your comments So lucky to have had fab care from a wonderful team in sheffield x

Pusheen

Glade over 5 years ago in reply to moomy

Thanks for that reference moomy. I will be looking that up too. It's like I'm out of my comfort zone now and don't know what to do once all the appointments end.

moomy

The past is a memory, the future a dream, the moment is now.

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Yay, glad to hear you've completed your treatments. Just wanted to say I'm one cycle behind you, my last Herceptin is on 10th Nov and like you have been counting down all these months but have the same apprehensions as you. We've sort of been in a bubble for the last year and a half with whole teams looking after us and then suddenly it will all be over. Everyone around me just seems to think that I should be happy that it is all over, and I definitely am, but something inside me is just a little worried, just a little anxious and just a little sad, which I find silly.

However I also know, thanks to you and many others on here, that it is a normal feeling and many others feel the same. Thanks also to moomy for the paper will take a look at that.

Take care and enjoy

XOXO

Glade over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Now that I'm thinking about Moving Forward, I realise that there's a lot of resources out there that can be helpful.

I dug back into the pack of information that I was given at the start of all this. Information sheets, leaflets and booklets that I put on one side. Examples are Breast Cancer Haven, Complementary therapy, psychological support.

They've now come to the fore and I'm finding useful information and references to reassure me that I'm not alone after all.

Slowly, slowly, step by step.

The past is a memory, the future a dream, the moment is now.

lucky3 over 4 years ago in reply to moomy

Hi I've heard about dr Harvey's paper where do I get it as I finished treatment a year ago and still feel like west end girl .

Lucky 3

moomy over 4 years ago in reply to lucky3

If you google Dr Peter Harvey’s paper on ‘after the treatment finishes then what’ you’ll find it.
sorry, on my phone so links are virtually impossible.
Hugs xxx

Moomy

lucky3 over 4 years ago in reply to moomy

Thank you

Hugs xx

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