I guess where to begin is that I felt a sharp pain in my left breast last September and discovered a lump had formed. Made my gp appointment immediately, having watched and supported my mums stage 4 bowel cancer the same year I wasn’t about to ignore it. GP thought it was a cyst and not to worry but got referred. Couple of weeks later they told me fibroadenoma, no need to worry, I just needed to a quick biopsy to confirm. Then they said it’s either phyllodes tumour or a cellular fibroadenoma so it had to come out but they were very sure it was benign.
First surgery of my life. But out came Jerry (I’d named my breast Judas in September and so stuck with the J theme for the tumour) and I figured that would be the end of that. Because my surgery was just before Christmas I got hit by the holiday delay for the pathology. Then I got a lot of being messed around because Jerry ended up being shipped off to experts. Definitely phyllodes but perhaps now borderline but needed to be confirmed by the experts. I have a telephone consultation scheduled for next week to discuss results and a surgery penciled in for Feb to get the margins.
However today that appointment has been cancelled. They have the results from the expert and my appointment is now in person and on Wednesday. I am bricking it that it may have been upgraded further. I can’t explain how scared and paralysed I am by it. I guess I’m hope someone here can either tell me I’m overthinking it or I don’t know. I feel like I’m disappointing my family putting us all through this again. And my partner that I was starting to plan a life with. 31 and I want to just sit down and cry like a little kid.
