New and not feeling it yet

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Hi All,

Found a lump mid November, was told on December 6th it was almost certainly cancer and yesterday got confirmation that I have breast cancer which has progressed into the lymph nodes. Still don't have all of the results yet so we don't know stage or grade or what treatment I'll be getting and I won't find out until Monday.  Told the family (including two kids, I'm 42 so that's a teen and pre-teen) and let work know, makes it a bit easier for all of the appointments. 

I just don't seem to 'feel' it yet if you know what I mean.  I know people around me are worried/upset/angry and I have grounds to be but I am emotionless about it all, other than concern about how my husband and kids are doing and a bit of frustration about the delays in getting a plan, and that's only because I can't confirm work and personal stuff I have going on early in the new year.  My work have been great and just said to finish up for the year and we can figure it all out when I'm ready but I don't really want to - and I'm not a workaholic!

It's not that I'm burying my head in the sand, I've accepted I have cancer, discussed possible treatment options, know how severe it could be etc, I just don't feel anything much. Anyone else relate?

  • Hi , I found out 2 days ago I have triple negative breast cancer . I hear ya !! 
    I am 51 with 15 yr old stepson who I told last night. 
    i too don’t really feel much other than upset at having tell people and like you frustration as I have plans …. Things to do … places to go and a life to live ! How dare this get in the way of that ! 

    I only joined today but already feel everyone will find support here no matter what they need they will find it.

    if you wanna ever chat I love a good chat 

  • Hi. I think what you're feeling is not so unusual to be honest, we all react in different ways.  I worked throughout all my treatment and was very much about needing to plan, to be in control and not to let this thing get in the way, so I totally relate. I hope you get your treatment plan soon, certainly most people cope better once they know what's going on. Best wishes 

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  • Hi, I hope you don’t mind me asking but what is a community champion ? Only joined here today and still finding my way around x 

  • Hi, firstly I m glad you found us and hope it's helpful.   Community champions are just volunteers who keep an eye on the groups. We've done some training but our role is mostly about sign posting people to where they can get more advice or sharing our own experiences.  

    I had breast cancer a few years ago so I tend to volunteer in this group.  Hope this helps. Best wishes 

    Community Champion badge

  • Hi Wave 

    Thats exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed I had numerous biopsies until they told me what type of cancer I had. Three different cancers in left breast. I was Her2 positive grade 3.

    Please remain strong Muscle you will find the strength. At first you go through the motions and awaiting test results is the worst. Once you have your treatment plan you will feel more in control and I promise you will get through this and come out the other side.

    So many young women being diagnosed I truly believe  the Covid vaccines have a part to play in this.

  • I don’t think the Covid vaccines are to blame, my mum has had all the Covid vaccines and has the faulty gene and has smoked loads all her life and has never had bc. Also, it is encouraged to have the Covid vaccine after treatment for a diagnosis because contracting Covid can awaken dormant cancer cells in the lungs which is not what we want. 

    I think it’s the contraceptive pill and HRT as everyone I speak to who has had or has it took the contraceptive pill. Again my mum did not. My auntie took HRT and she got bc. 

    It is very interesting to see the correlation though.