Hi everyone! Non invasive ductal carcinoma, treatable, but feel unhappy

Hi Lea 

It’s okay to feel unhappy. You have had a diagnosis and although it could be said you are “lucky” because it is treatable, I would say it is pretty “unlucky” to get any kind of diagnosis. It will take time to process and you may feel a whole range of emotions, unhappiness included, and they are all valid.

I wonder why you cannot tell your work? As you have been diagnosed with cancer you are legally classified as disabled and your employer may have policies in place to support you. 

Best of luck with everything. x 

Hi Lea, I'm not sure if you cannot tell your work due to your diagnosis perhaps compromising your employment-or if you simply feel that you cannot tell them..

I have been off work since my first appointment at the breast clinic (mid Feb)  and didn't want work to know why. I simply told them that I'd had a small procedure at hospital ( true, as I had biopsies). Further along I told them that I was having surgery but not why, and my consultant was happy to be vague on my sick notes. They made a referral to occupational health, not knowing why I was off and no date for my return. 

I also only told  immediate family a handful of close friends.

I never actually told work until I had the results of my lumpectomy and lymph nodes surgery, and that I needed a re-excision to remove some extra tissue. And my appointment with occupational health was around the same time.  They were very supportive and I will hopefully be going back on a phased return in 2-3 weeks.  OH have stipulated  I will need time off for appts, during radiotherapy and extra support. Oh and work now class me as disabled and so I am entitled  to some leave for say other therapies which may help.  So work have been great tbh.

However, I understand that not all employers are so supportive/understanding or have specific policies in place. 

Hoping all goes well for you x

Hello Lea,

I really understand how you're feeling, how are you feeling now? Have you told anyone else and did the GP/hospital offer any emotional support like counselling, or just the antidepressants?

I'm feeling like you, unsettled and unhappy. I'm still waiting for my biopsy results but the breast assessment clinic seemed pretty sure I have cancer and they said at 16 mm that it's a small one. They were very matter of fact and unemotional about the whole thing, so I left feeling confused and I've been reading about it myself online.

I started feeling guilty as someone said I was lucky. I wanted to reply to you because I read about something online  I had never heard of before but it's called gratitude shaming. 

It summed up how I was feeling, that I was told I was lucky and should be grateful, even I was telling myself I am lucky and should be grateful but I was still feeling upset. It is upsetting as we don't know what will happen in the future and it's early days so we haven't processed it all.

I'll send you the information I found on it and it did make me feel better, that even if other people do have worse situations, maybe I'm still allowed to be feeling all sorts of emotions and not just feel lucky.

So I'm thinking of you and hope you got some support, best wishes and hope to hear from you :)