Hello - and scared

Hi SammyG I’m so sorry you are going through this. I haven’t got any advice but I just wanted to reach out to you because I’m exactly the same right now. I have ct scan this evening and mri tomorrow night and I’m absolutely petrified that it’s going to show that it’s in other places of my body.

like you, I can’t stop crying and I can’t switch off from it. It’s a scared that I’ve never felt before.

I’m 39 with 3 out of 5 children at home too.

I’m here if you want to talk xx

Hi SammyG, my heart goes out to you, I will never forget how I was feeling waiting for those results with young children.  I was fortunate and mine hadn't spread past the lymph nodes however I thought I would just give you a few extra things to think about that might help.  If something is incurable today doesn't mean that a cure, new medicine or new technology won't come out.  I have a couple of friends with incurable cancer where they are being managed.  One was only given a year but 8 years on with new drugs he's in quite a good place, yes hes still got the cancer but it's not looking at winning anytime soon.  Another friend is on immunotherapy as it had spread to his lungs, the medical experts were absolutely shocked as rather than just managing it it disappeared totally from one lung and shrunk right down in the other lung.  All the time this is happening with my friends, researchers are there looking for new treatments.  I really hope the scans bring you good results.  I'm afraid I can't do anything to take away the fear whilst waiting for the scans but just wanted to reassure you that if the scans do show that it's spread it doesn't necessarily mean you won't see your children grow up xx 

Hi Lauzloo. I’m so sorry you are going through this too. It’s just the most torturous wait, isn’t it. Everyone says to think positive but that’s pretty much impossible. I’ve got everything crossed that your results show it hasn’t gone anywhere else. Will you let me know? Xx

Hi Cazh24. I’ve just said in my reply to someone else that it feels impossible to think positively but you’ve just shown that that isn’t true! There is always hope and light if you choose to find it, and I’ll remember your words when my mind takes me to the scary places. Thank you xx

I was in your position a few weeks ago, I was petrified of the ct scan and results. I had all sorts of sudden aches and pains and was convinced it was around my body.  But it wasn’t, I had a clear scan apart from boob. I know the fear that you have in you right now. It’s traumatising. I would ring any support lines and keep talking. I had my ct scan then waited 10 days for the results just to give you a timescale. Be strong. Be positive and take care xx

Thank you for replying. Yes, if I feel out of breath then it’s in my lungs! Totally irrational. I’m so pleased your scan was clear. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s helpful to know how this has played out for others. Xx

It seems impossible and I feel like I’m being made to feel that my scary thoughts are almost irrational. 
We can try some positive vibes together if you like.

I won’t have the results until I go back on the 3rd..so it’ll be even more waiting  But I’ll post back 

Thinking of you and always here xx