hi
I am 46 years old and have been following these forums for a little while but have only just plucked up the courage to post.
I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in November 2024. At first it was primary, 98% curable according to my doctors so this is how we shared it with my kids in a very positive way. We had a clear plan and understanding….
Unfortunately , the day my chemo was due to start, my oncologist pointed out that they had found nodules on my lungs and I need further biopsies. A number of tests and operations later, they confirmed that the cancer had metastasised. This shattered my husband and I as is so very different to what we had originally thought. A very different path and we have not yet shared this with our kids. I have now started chemo and immune therapy and feel like I am getting into a routine which gives me strength to know I am fighting this beast.
what I am finding so very difficult is integrating back into society, coming to terms with the new ‘normal’ which is so different to how things were before and also overcoming the fear of the ‘unknown’.
I am dreading telling my kids that the prognosis is different to what we originally were told as well.
I would love to hear from people who are in a similar situation and make some friends here who I can talk to. I have a massive support network and am so grateful but I don’t think anyone really gets it completely, unless you are there. I certainly didn’t and cannot believe how much I have learnt since my diagnosis about Cancer.
thank you for reading this, I look forward to meeting some people.
Hi Hlcz and welcome to the forum. I'm one if the community champions on this group and I wanted to pop on and say that it's good that you've found the courage to post. I hope you find we're a friendly and supportive bunch on here.
I'm so sorry to read your story of your diagnosis, this much be unimaginably difficult for you snd your family. I wanted to share a few things that might help. Firstly MacMillan has some useful resources on telling kids, I’ve popped the link here. Talking to Children
There is also a more specific group for those diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, you might find more people in the same situation as yourself on there. Of course you're very welcome in this group too and this one helps I think especially around treatment and it's typically more active. Secondary breast cancer
I'm glad you have a strong support network, that's important and my advice is when people offer help to accept it. I found that difficult at first, but very useful when I was going through chemo and recovering post surgery.
Finally, Macmillan offer a great chat line service where you can talk to a member of the team for advice and support. The number is 0800 808 0000.
Hopefully these few things help you a little and I hope your chemo goes well. Best wishes
Hi Hlcz, I’m so sorry to read your story. It’s an emotional rollercoaster as is, so I appreciate your journey must have been very hard.
I’m sorry for the late post but I’ve only recently joined this forum. My husband (age 44) was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer 2 weeks ago. We’ve been told it’s not curable but is treatable, but are struggling to understand what that fully means and we how we tell our little girl that when we don’t fully get it ourselves (we have a 7 year old and a 2 year old). We’ve decided to just be honest with her but assure her that there are treatments available and leave it there for now.
I appreciate I’m not going through this personally, but it feels like whole world has been shattered too. My husband and I are really trying to stay in a positive mindset, as new drugs and treatments are coming through all of the time. If it would help to connect, please do PM me. I’m also looking to build up a support network. We have wonderful friends and family but no one can really understand what we’re going through right now unless you’re in it yourself xxx
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