Hi All, I'm new on here. Been diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Been couple of difficult months with various invasive biopsies and unexpected results, had a lumpectomy end of November with results showing cancer still showing in margin so in for 2nd lumpectomy next week. Have coped pretty well so far but for sone reason not coping so well with 2nd poor result.
However, I have felt guilty about getting any support as it is early breast cancer and there are so many people with far worse Cancer scenarios.
I have so many varied emotions and worries and whilst my husband, daughter and friends are all wonderfully supportive I feel quite alone but feel very selfish about that.
Thought I'd join this forum so I could read other people's experiences and it has already helped reading others who have had 2nd lumpectomy.
Hi, sorry you find yourself joining the club nobody wants to join. I was diagnosed with breast cancer September 2022 and like you my margins were not clear. I had a second lumpectomy and my margins were then clear. I was gutted when I was told the margins weren’t clear. I wasn’t thinking or expecting it. A breast care nurse told me to look at it as another step in the process that it was quite common. I then had 10 days of radiotherapy . The way you are feeling and the emotions are normal. It doesn’t matter what type or Step of this journey you are on you are still on a cancer journey. Take one step and one day at a time and you will get there.
Hiya, it’s really hard when you feel others are worse than you, I remember with my first breast cancer almost apologising/dismissing my BC to other BC patients because I felt they had it so much worse than me. I felt like a fraud. We’re not frauds but I think that’s really common. I also had to have a second op for clear margins and that was successful and the RT. Hopefully you’ll have a good experience. But don’t diminish your own feelings and you’re not being selfish at all, take the support, you deserve it and it’ll improve your outcome.
My second breast cancer took me down a really challenging and invasive path and I still compared myself to other cancer sufferers who were worse than me I think it’s just human nature. All the best xx
I can relate to where you are. I also had early stage BC and also had a 2nd lumpectomy as the margins weren’t clear the first time.
I remember feeling deflated that I was going right back to the beginning after a month of recovery from surgery. Actually I had less pain and a lot better mobility immediately after the 2nd surgery so it wasn’t really going back to the start. Hopefully that will be true for you too
Also, I had a sense that I ought not to feel low because so many were worse off than me - and I WAS truly grateful that the cancer was found early and was highly treatable, but this is still a profound experience - it’s real and scary. You are going through something life changing, your emotions are bound to be intense and in constant flux
I also had a wonderful supportive family around me and in the first few weeks I wanted them to see how I was bouncing back and didn’t want to be a bore when I was tired or low. Then I decided just to be honest about how I was each day / in the moment and when I stopped trying to be the ‘positive’ patient it was such a relief - I think my healing became easier then.
Sending you my love. Be gentle with yourself. X
Thank you for your reply, appreciated. Sorry you have had a 2nd breast cancer. I hope you are through that treatment.
I think you are right and fraud is spot on, that's exactly how I feel, like I should not be upset and worried because they have hopefully caught it early. I was sat in the MacMillan Centre in tears waiting for a group session having just got my result, and there were lots of leaflets around me about Cancers far more seeious. I thought I should pull myself together! I need to be kinder to myself, it is still an ordeal and worry I guess.
Thank you
Thank you, greatly received.
It is great to hear of your same experience. This is exactly how I have been from the start, trying to be positive, when inside I just want to hide away and cry. I'm not blaming anyone because I have said the same to people mysrlf but I find it so hard when everyone says, oh well, they've caught it early, you"ll be fine. I has not helped really as I just feel like I shouldn't feel upset as it's minor. I was pretty stoic from 1st diagnosis, just thought well let's get on with it. I think I was convinced it would be all over so the 2nd diagnosis was a shock and has knocked me for six.
I have heard a lot of people say 2nd op recovery is easier, I thought it would be worse as going back into same area that has just healed. Fingers crossed!
I've not been so strong this week, the reason I have sought support. It is really helpful to hear everyone's advice and support - thank you
You definitely do need to be kinder to yourself, this is as mentally taxing as it is physically taxing. Yes I’m well through treatment and out the other side now thank you. I was unlucky, it wasn’t a reoccurrence, two different BC’s that were apparently unrelated x
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