New here, feeling anxious and overwhelemd

Hi Gamechanger,

Welcome to the forum. 

I think we all experience these fears. I have completed my chemo radiotherapy and am now on hormone therapy. 

My consultant told me to go live my life as I have completed my treatments.

I worry because I was grade 3 fast growing that every ache or discomfort in my arm, underarm or breast is my cancer returning. I have even thought I felt a lump but it probably scar tissue.

I spoke with my BCN who said if I was really anxious I could be fast tracked to see consultant even just to reassure me that all well. 

I had my op in June, chemo July to Sept and radiotherapy in October. In my head I believe I should have healed but in reality it can take months to heal.

Chatting on the forum gaining reassurance from others helps. I will also ask to be fast tracked to consultant in the new year even if it is just for reassurance. I think it's difficult not to go to worst case scenarios, however I am assured by others the further along in our recovery the more we return to living our life again.

I wish you well with your treatment and recovery xx

Thank you so much for your response and for sharing your experience. It really helps to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I was diagnosed in Aug 2023 and had chemo from Sept 2023 to Jan 2024, followed by two surgeries (to clear the margins) and radiotherapy (15 sessions). I’m now on Zoladex and Letrozole, and Kadcyla. Apart from an acute reaction to Zometa (which led to being hospitalised), I’ve tolerated treatment fine physically - emotionally less so.

I just feel like it’s been such a long road, and I’m gripped with fear about every little sensation. It’s so hard to be rational when the anxiety takes over. It helps to hear that others are experiencing similar fears, especially after completing treatment. I also worry that any ache or discomfort is a sign of recurrence, even when it’s probably just scar tissue or the body healing.

I think I’ll follow your lead and contact my team to ask to speak to a consultant for reassurance. It’s difficult not to jump to worst-case scenarios, but I’m hopeful that as time goes on, I’ll be able to focus more on living my life again, as you’ve mentioned.

Thanks again for the advice, and I’m really glad to have found this forum. It’s comforting to hear from others who understand what we’re going through. I hope we both continue to heal and find peace along the way.

Hi Gamechanger,

Good luck, I hope others can offer reassurance also as to how they feel also and how they deal with their anxiety and fears.

The reassurance for us is that for the next 5 years any concerns merits a fast track appointment to consultant. We don't need to go through GP or wait. That's something.

Take care and wishing you a speedy recovery with the rest of your treatments xx

I agree, your mind can torture you! I think we all feel like that and many of us have contacted our breastcare team to have things checked out that we’re worried about, it’s great we have that 5 year pass back into the system. Also, I found talking to MacMillan helpful when my mind ran away with me, I called in a state and was connected to a nurse who was brilliant at reassuring me so don’t feel shy to use that service x

Thank you so much for your reply. I will call, it’s just hard because I’m afraid of what I might be told, so I end up putting it off, which only leaves me feeling worse. I know I need to find a way through this.

Ever since getting that news - the cancer diagnosis - I haven’t been the same about taking things to the doctor. It feels like I’m constantly waiting for the axe to fall. But you’re right, the mind really can torture you, and it helps to hear I’m not alone in feeling this way.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply - it’s such a comfort to know others understand what this is like.

Hi GameChanger, I think the anxiety about recurrence is probably something most if us go through. I was diagnosed January, had chemo, mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction and finished radiotherapy on Christmas eve. I'm still on phesgo injections and zoledronic infusions, along with letrozole for 5 years, but thankfully clear of cancer. Since surgery I've been concerned about a lump in my armpit, which BCN did reassure me about, as it's a reconstructed  breast. However, they have booked me in for an ultrasound on Saturday, just to ease my anxiety. 

Be sure to contact your BCN with any worries, I think they really understand that you will have some worries and anxiety to begin with. I'm sure they're happy to give reassurance when needed. Xx

I know exactly how you feel, I finished my treatment at the end of November and my anxiety is through the roof. I just can't get my head around what happens now, how I start to live my life again after months and months of tests, waiting, operations and treatment. I find it very strange that on my follow up telephone appointment with the oncologist he said "we'll be in touch in 5 years time to talk to you and decide then what happens next" - I know I have to trust the system and I am normally such a positive person but I just can't shake the fear of it returning.

So you are not alone, I think everyone goes through these thoughts, I believe it's just finding a way to cope with them and from what I've been told to keep talking it through xxx