Worried about how to help

Hi Lis C

I can only imagine how hard it is for you and how helpless you feel.

When I was diagnosed in May this year I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone as I needed to process the diagnosis in my head and deal with my own emotions.

My mother in law wanted to help and be around me as obviously she wanted to support her son. The best thing she did was give us space, she would make me little care packages up and that was her way of supporting me.

When she’s ready to talk she will just let them both know you’re there if they need anything. She knows you care but it’s early days. 
I’m glad you have reached out on this site and hopefully you will get the support you need.

Big hugs to you and your family xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Just to know there is someone out there makes it all a little better. I will take your advice on board. I was thinking about subscribing to something for her like flowers or a magazine type subscription. Good luck with your journey, hugs to you as well. 

Hi Lis C,

Give her time to process it. When I was diagnosed, I couldn't even verbalise the word cancer. I sent my family a text telling them I had breast cancer. However, didn't want to discuss it. This was mainly because I needed time to process it, and I couldn't answer any questions at the time as I didn't have a treatment plan.

Your daughter in law will know that you are there waiting to support her when she is able to talk about it.

In the meantime, tell her you are there but appreciate it's a lot for her to get her head around. Your son will use you as a sounding board once he has got over the shock. It's a lot to take in and deal with.

If you need support to deal with it you can contact cancer care who also support families.

I wish your DIL a speedy treatment and  recovery.

Please be patient she will talk to you soon once she has processed it and understands her treatment plan. Xx 

That’s a lovely idea xx

Thank you for your wise words. I’ll definitely take those on board. Wishing you well for the coming year.