Breast Cancer

Hi, sorry you're feeling this way, I'm sure it is very common. 

Very few of us are prepared for being diagnosed. I knew nothing about breast cancer, and didn't think I was at much risk of getting it, and didn't know anyone else who had gone through treatment. So, I felt completely out of my comfort zone, and tbh the NHS is not especially good at walking people through it.

2 years on from being treated, and without having to go through chemo, it is more manageable just because I know where I am in terms of treatment and recovery, and able to look forward.

If you look back on other posts there will be plenty of advice there, it may be worth reposting with the term emotional wreck - as lots of people will relate and comment.

Take care.

Hi Chitty,

I had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed some months ago and a few weeks ago, finished my radiotherapy. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal, you’re half way through treatment, things are going well and you think you should be bouncing off the walls with happiness. You have to remember, that you’re body has been through a lot and encountered lots of medication and that’s bound to have some effect on you’re mind too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, if you have an off day and feel like a whinge, then do it, it’s getting out of you. Although I have finished my treatment and am now clear, I still have those off days and feel weepy. So if say the flat needs hoovering and I just don’t want to do it, I say sod it - the carpet and hoover will still be there tomorrow.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills, open 10-4 Mon-Fri for coffee and chat and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and contact you’re breast cancer nurse at anytime and ask her as many questions as you like, mine still rings me regularly.. Also, you get great support on here.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. Finally, yes cancer is a horrible disease but don’t let it define you as a person and never forget, you  are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Keeping fingers and everything crossed for you.

Take care and big hugs.xxx

Hi Chitty,

I c9mpleted my chemo cycles 2 weeks ago. I'm still not back to myself. I think I feel like a cancer patient still because of the horrid side effect.yhe fatigue is very real. 

At times my emotions ate all over the place which is normal with this diagnosis and the necessary changes to our life.

I felt like I was watching the world whizz by me for a time. My head wants to do things and join in. But my body is fatigued.

I'm trying to take my own advice and be kind to myself. I'm trying to be patient and build up my strength before now moving onto radiotherapy in a couple of weeks.

The journey is not an easy one. Take one step at a time and some days just do what you need to to get you to the next day. Hopefully we will look back on this time and realise just how strong we are.

Good luck with your recovery journey xx

I completely get where you are coming from. I feel like my life has been consumed by this illness since diagnosis and that it is taking my health as well as me as a person - and there is no escaping it. I had a mastectomy three weeks ago and waiting to start chemo. The medical side seems sorted - in terms of there is a process to follow - but nothing very much to deal with the emotional fallout. I am totally floored by it. I'm sorry that doesn't sound very positive in terms of dealing with it, but I just wanted to say I empathise. It's a lonely place and meanwhile you are an observer to the rest of the world getting on with life. 

Thank you so much, I’m trying all you suggest and have been out today, had a couple of weepy moments but survived, also had an honest chat about feelings without the usual ‘yes I’m ok getting there’ comment.

one day at a time

thank you again, best wishes 

Hello Monty 45

i also had a mastectomy 17 days ago and waiting on chemo . It is a tough journey . It is helpful to follow someone on the same timescale . I hope you are ok and recovering well. I have slight swelling under arm but mainly good recovery from surgery. I apparently will have herseptin along side chemo but we will see? Oncology appointment not come yet . Looking forward to sharing our journeys .

love Rosie

Hi Rosie 28 . I am also waiting for the oncology appointment - in the next couple of weeks, I think. Then chemo starts a couple of weeks after that, apparently. I also had my lymph nodes removed, so I'm ok although sometimes it feels like I have a block of wood in my armpit! 

Yes that’s it, so good to hear from others who feel the same,it does feel very lonely at times, it’s been good to chat on here

Thank you, wishing you the very best

Hi Chitty, thank you for posting this. It really resonates. 

I had a mastectomy in April and started chemotherapy in June.  I have 7 rounds left, which will be followed by another mastectomy in January. 

Up until this point, I've kind of just been getting on with things. I noticed that since last week, I've started feeling quite low. Which feels so strange, after 4 rounds of EC and 5 of Paclitaxel,  I'm now at the midway point of Paclitaxel,  round 6 tomorrow. Yet I feel so low and really missing the old me. Everything about my life has changed!

I have a 2wk holiday booked for December, I love travelling but even that hasn't kept me distracted from my sadness for long.

Thank you for the reminder about journalling, I love writing but haven't done any lately, nor kept up with my blog. I have been doing some guided meditation over the last few days and it's helping.

I hope that your week has started well and you're able to do some feel good activities this week.

Thank you once again for sharing.

Peace, Shaka

Hi 

I hear and completely understand you. I have finished my chemo and surgery and now in the middle of radio. Everything I have gone through before now has been way harder physically but it is now when I feel worst emotionally. I cry every day, sometimes to my family but often to anyone who asks how I am. Like others that have posted here I feel my life is passing me by and I am scared about the future. Whilst this is not very positive (and I have been the queen of positivity over the past months!) it has really helped me to read that others feel similar emotions. I know people who had their treatment 5-6 years ago and they seem to be it all figured out and are happy so I know it will happen, but at this moment I just want to cry and be held. I think it is ok if we are not asking ourselves to be bouncing back emotionally, but easier said than done. Hang in there, you are doing amazing, we all are. Love