New here, need to make a decision

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Hi, I've recently been diagnosed with HER2 breast cancer. It's a 28mm tumour in a small breast so a lumpectomy will result in quite a noticeable difference in size. The other option is a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I'm terrified of waking up looking horrific, the thought of a mastectomy terrifies me as it feels so final. Im hoping to make a decision by the end of the week but I'm struggling. I don't have a partner and a recent break up left me with no confidence, but I know the main thing is to get the cancer out of me Confused

  • Hi JaneyD17,

    Welcome to the forum. I have her2neg/ER/PR positive.

    I had a lumpectomy and removal of sentinels. I can notice one breast is slightly smaller but not by much. The scar is round my nipple very neat.

    Unfortunately the choice will be yours to make. I like you just wanted the cancer cut out of me.

    Maybe someone with the same choices to make might answer in the forum. 

    I wish uou well in your recovery xx

  • Hi  if you don't mind me asking, how big was the lump? And did you have any reconstruction and radiotherapy? x

  • Hi JaneyD17,

    My lump was 38mm and was breaking up when they operated. It was grade 3 I had a lumpectomy. No reconstruction.

    I'm having chemo just now last cycle is Friday then radiotherapy starting 7th October for 2 weeks followed by Lentrazole for 5 years and bone infusions to commence soon xx

  • Hi,

    Such difficult decisions.

    I was apparently borderline for a mastectomy after the tumour (30mm) they removed was bigger than the scan showed, but they still did a lumpectomy. I have small breasts. Then they did a second operation to get a clear margin.

    Each operation lifts your breast up, so my nipples aren't aligned. Having a breast lift soon on the good right breast and a second fat transfer to even out dents on the left breast. 

    And we'll see how it goes, one more fat transfer operation possibly needed, but my cancer breast is definitely looking better than it did after the original surgery. 

    Best to discuss further with your surgeon as they know most about likely outcomes and can guide you as to what will be acceptable to you.

    All the best.

  • Hi JaneyD17, sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I am due to have a mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction on the 8th of October. Before my appointment I had already decided to ask if I could have a mastectomy, rather than lumpectomy. As it happens I had two tumours in the one breast, so it's what they suggested to me anyway. I do feel a bit anxious, but more about the recovery than the actual surgery. I hope you manage to make the best decision for you and wish you well in your recovery. Xx

  • Hi  Thanks for replying. I think having a mastectomy gives you peace of mind that all the cancer is being removed and then there's less follow up procedures. In a way it would have been easier for me if the decision was out of my hands and I was told to have that. It sounds like you've reached a point of acceptance and now you have more practical concerns such as the recovery, which is the point that I want to get to, my surgery is booked for the 19th and all I'm doing is worrying about how I'm going to look after which I know isn't the main concern but it doesn't stop my brain overthinking it x

  • Hi  , thanks for replying. Sounds like you're getting quite good results with your surgery. Was it fat transferred from your back? Did you need radiotherapy? X 

  • You're going through such a lot of treatment, but sounds like you're over the worst of it x

  • Hi Janey 

    Ive had a mastectomy with no reconstruction as yet as l couldn’t decide what l wanted and to be honest l still can’t . But the option is l can have a reconstruction at any point . I can’t say it’s been easy aesthetically but l have that option to reconstruct in the future . A friend of mine is having a lumpectomy and her surgeon is going to give her a partial implant to try and retain the look of her breast . Would this be an option for you Janey ? Can your BCN be supportive in this decision although obviously the choice is ultimately yours . 

  • Hi Janey,

    Welcome to the group no one would wants to be part of, but is SO supportive and kind.

    I was going to have a lumpectomy, but then told I needed a mastectomy, which I had end of Jan. I opted for an immediate tissue reconstruction as I wanted less to and fro. My sis told me of friends who were happy with just a mastectomy and padded bra...but that just wasn't for me. I know the important thing is the cancer, but you still need to live your life the way you want. I personally couldn't cope with idea of no breast.

    It was approx 8hr surgery (I was looking forward to a sleep tbh having not had much the months b4). I was fine looking down my chest after the surgery...there were a lot of tubes and scarring. But when I saw myself in the mirror the 1st time I burst into tears (which surprised me) and kept bursting into tears with the bcn (prob cos I was strong for family). But the appearance did just get better and better slowly but recovery was slow for my impatient self.

    I'm still waiting further surgery, as new breast was made bigger cos of potential shrinkage with radiotherapy. But they got all the cancer and radiotherapy not need now. So I have to have it reduced, sculpted a bit and a nipple tattoo. But cos no cancer it's no longer a priority and prob won't get op till sometime next year. I actually find it tough now again, as everyone thinks I was so strong and it's all ok now. But my sexual relationship with my husband is non existent now and it makes me feel low about myself. Something ì don't tell folk cos it feels petty. Just writing this makes me tearful (prob also menopause cos of drugs).

    Sorry not a straightforward answer. But you need to be brutally honest with yourself as to what you can cope with and ask them how long for COMPLETE reconstruction (waiting differs in areas) and maybe ask for after pictures of similar lumpectomies. My surgeon showed me pics b4 and final after as at the time waiting for final surgeries were few months here (now 18months min here). 

    Either way is a roller coaster of emotions and both have their challenges, but unfortunately both are a bit unpredictable. I'm now thinking I haven't helped you at all. But honestly, whilst I'm emotional now, I would have picked a mastectomy & immediate reconstruction again...to be more sure the cancer was gone and to be closer to looking like myself long term. But everyone is different.

    Big hugs and drop in here whenever you need to. Best of luck xxxx