Recently diagnosed and trying to navigate this new world

Hi Nicky,

You most certainly won't be doing a rubbish job. The fact we can all get out of bed on a morning is testament to how well we are all doing! I'm 47, stage 2 grade 2 IDC with positive nodes, had lumpectomy and mammoplasty in June then another op to clear the margins in July. I'm due to start chemotherapy on 5 September. Dreading it but like you I'm just impatient for it to start so I know what I'm up against. Absolutely dreading hair loss, so I am trying cold capping. I feel like my body just isn't my own at the minute and that I have no control over anything! I've read that chemo (and subsequent tamoxifen) can cause a lot of weight gain too which also fills me with dread, but then I feel guilty for worrying about my appearance when I should just be thankful the cancer has been treated. It's just an emotional minefield! 

I hope you're feeling a bit more settled soon, the people on this forum are a great support and always on hand for support and advice

Hi Nicky26  welcome to the  forum. I am so very sorry to hear what has happened for you but you are  right, there is so much to take in and digest in a short space of time and our brains are in overload. We are here for you as long as you need us to be so ask away as much as you like and we will try our very best to help and answer any queries you have.

Sending some huge big hugs your way for now. xxx 

Hi I have just been diagnosed on Wed and am waiting for a result of Her2+ or - which my consultant said will determine whether I have a mastectomy first or chemo. I don't really have much clue what it all means at the moment because I haven't been able to bring myself to read all the info they gave me. 

I'm 35 and have a soon to be 4 year old so I'm just trying to stay as positive as possible so he doesn't know anything is wrong. 

This is my first post on a forum and just wanted to say I know how you are feeling. Xxx

Hi Nicky

I am also 46 with two children and was diagnosed in February. Same as you, results from my surgery found three IDC tumours and DCIS but thankfully no lymph node spread. I also thought I was fit and healthy, in fact I was feeling the best I ever had. I was going to the gym regularly, just done my first 10k run and training for a half marathon after never really doing exercise in my life! I haven’t needed chemo so cannot comment regarding that, but I have had radiotherapy and been taking Tamoxifen for two months, no major issues with either. Just wanted to say hi back and wish you all the best. You are not doing a rubbish job, you are in a situation everyone expects to happen to somebody else and there is a huge amount to take in and learn. With love and support you will get through this. x

Hi Mum35,

I had a lumpectomy four months ago and lymph nodes removed, I  finished my radiotherapy a few weeks ago and have recently been told I am clear. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. If I we’re you, I’d forget about all the bumf you were given for now, it’s too much to handle. The strides made in modern cancer medicine these days is amazing and they can do so much for you. However, there is so much you can do for yourself too.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills, open 10-4 Mon-Fri for coffee and chat and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and you get great support on.

I wouldn’t tell you’re little one as she wouldn’t understand anyway, just tell her when you need to that Mummy is a bit poorly and the Doctor is going to fix her and let her do little things for you, which will make her think she is  helping you.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Keeping fingers and everything crossed for you.

Take care and big hugs.xxx

• Thank you all for the replies. It gives me some relief to know people are here to provide info, personal experience, and a bit of pep talk when needed. Thank you 
  Sharlou  .. I wish you lots of luck with your first chemo session this week. 
  I also thought I’d try the cold capping so let me know how you get on with the fist session get your Netflix list lined up to try and take your mind off it. 
  Any good recommendations send my way. 
  You can do this! My friends keep saying the same to me and I know I can … I’ve got to for my girls, it’s just going to be bumpy along the way. 
  I feel the same .. impatient to start too so not in this limbo land of waiting. 
  Mum35 … I’m so sorry, I totally understand  how scary and overwhelming a recent diagnosis is. This is my first time in a forum too but after weeks  of dreading going to bed on a night I actually felt better last night knowing that id finally reached out. Hope everyone’s support and info provides a little relief for you too. I can’t offer much knowledge at the moment but I can let you know how I’m getting on along the way and please let me know how you are too. 
  Eebee thank you for the reply… yes I was a regular runner too. I’d love to be able to get back out but limited to the walking at the minute. 
  Thank you all 

Hi Nicky 26

I also am her2-er/pr+. I was diagnosed in May this year. Had a lumpectomy and removal of sentinels on June 5th I recovered well from surgery. A couple of weeks recovery time and I was back driving etc.

I am grade three so commenced Chemo in July EC 4 cycle 3 weeks apart. I've had 3 one more to go in September then move to radiotherapy, bone infusions and hormone suppressants.

I have not put on any weight with the chemo. In fact lost but I had some gastric upset with the injections that you do day 3 till day 10.

 The first week after chemo you have to be kind to yourself and listen to your body. Rest when you can. Hard when young children involved. The chemo is doable. Keep a diary of any side effects and take it yo your next appointment. There is a tablet for each side effect to make the treatment doable.

Your mood can take a dip if like me your a control freak and I had no control over this. However there are lots of support out there. Use the macmillan nurses and cancer care. Register with looking good feel better that was a brilliant day of make up tips, provisions and support from others.

I'm no expert but have living experience of chemo and we are all different and on different schedules. I lost my hair after cycle 2. But I love my wig and people have been shocked when I told them it was a wig.

I wish all you ladies well in your recovery. We are strong and will get through this it is time limited then onwards and upwards. Xx

Thank you for replying so quickly. It is Alice knowing there is so much support out there from people who have faced the same thing xx