Diagnosed with Brest cancer 2 days ago

Hi Greenwater,

I had a lumpectomy four months ago and lymph nodes removed, I  finished my radiotherapy a few weeks ago and have recently been told I am clear. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. The strides made in modern cancer medicine these days is amazing and they can do so much for you. However, there is so much you can do for yourself too.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills, open 10-4 Mon-Fri for coffee and chat and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and you get great support on here.

If your Mum is somewhat of an anxious person, then I think I would wait until I’ve got some results before I tell her as it would only make her worry all the more. Hopefully, the results will be good but if it is not, as difficult as it will be try to to tell her as calmly as possible and keep reassuring her that you are getting the best treatment possible.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

keeping fingers and everything crossed for you

Take care and big hugs.xxx

Good morning,

The first couple of weeks seem scrambled, upside down because there is a lot of information to take in and our feelings and thoughts are all over the place.

You have done the right thing not telling your Mum at this point, think about it this way - naturally she will worry, and like us, not knowing what's next etc messes with your head. Wait until you're feeling and thinking a bit more clearly and your nurse has given you some more information. This way your Mum will be able to hear in your voice you are feeling strong enough to cope. This will soothe her. It's only natural your Mum will worry, and it's only natural you want to protect her from that.

My own Mother died in 2012, so I don't have her to talk to physically. But I talk to her all the time. It was my Mum that told me to go and see my GP in the first place.

So, your Mum is alive- keep talking to her as though she is still in the room, not on the phone, not in Italy. Soon you will realise you will 'hear' her responses, not actually obviously, but she is in you. She always will be.

Then, when you are ready, you can tell her in person.

This is tough. It's a shock. Look after yourself. Eat well. Sleep a lot. This forum helps. Keep your chin up.

Sending lots of love xxx

Hi Greenwater,

My partner and daughter knew at the beginning. It's difficult to explain to others as they then start asking questions.

My mum unfortunately died a few years ago but I have sisters and brothers. I couldn't verbalise the word cancer. I sent them a text saying I had cancer. No answers yet and no treatment plan so asked them to respect my wishes and let me process it, by not asking questions I didn't have answers to. This they did.

Once I had a treatment plan I felt more confident as I had something to work towards and could then discuss it with them.

You know your mum better than anyone. At the minute you don't have all the answers to her questions she may ask. It may be better to wait till you have a treatment plan to discuss with her.

I wish you well, use the forum here to chat and seek support and reassurance.

Also the macmillan nurses and cancer care are a great support xxx

Hi,

It's difficult.

We chose to wait until we knew what we were dealing with, rather than have everyone else worrying alongside us and fearing the worst. But, once I got my treatment plan - I'd had two operations by then and just needed 5 radiotherapy sessions, which were easy enough.

And because I've got a good prognosis, breast cancer is unlikely to bother me again. So, no, I chose not to tell my elderly parents. Had chemo been involved, then yes, I would have done.

Take care.