Supporting my wife after being diagnosed with breast cancer

Hi what a caring husband. 

I also have breast cancer which was grade 3 buy my lumph nodes not affected. I still require chemo as a preventative which in in yhe cycle now.

I'm sure someone with similar case to your wife will answer shortly.

In the meantime it's sounds very much like uou are supporting her by coming onto the forum and seeking information for her.

The macmillan nurses and champions are very supportive and informative and will be able to help.

Your wife breast cancer nurse will be able to answer most of your questions.

I'd say continue as you are, looking out for your wife and she will let you know what she needs and when.

I hope you get the answers soon. The not knowing and waiting for results is the worst. Once you have a treatment plan you will be better equipped to deal with it.

Wishing you both well and a speedy recovery to your wife x

Hi Saddler 1888

Welcome to the forum and I’m sorry to hear that your wife has triple negative breast cancer. I was diagnosed with grade 3 triple negative nearly four years ago. I also had cancer in my lymph nodes. I had a CT Scan as a result and had to wait a week for the results. Luckily I didn’t have any further spread

I had chemo, surgery and radiotherapy and made a full recovery.

The best thing you can do for your wife is to support her throughout her treatment. Give her little treats so that she has something to look forward to after her treatments.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hey  welcome to the forum 

I was diagnosed triple negative grade 3, stage 2 breast - my Tumor was 17mm 

started chemo in January, just had my lumpectomy 12 lymph nodes taken 3 had cancer in them - my lump went after round 4 and mri showed good response to treatment

when they scraped breast during surgery they found some cancer cells and now waiting for radiotherapy - then will have to have chemo after I’ve finished that in form of a tablet called cape - I don’t think I’ll be finished till early next year 

I worried about losing my hair but but the bullet and shaved it after round 3 of chemo as it was falling out anyway in clumps 

I got an amazing real wig from a lag off Instagram - she runs this as a business I can highly recommend her 

I know not all appointments are possible for you to go too, just let her know and reassure her you’ll be there through all of it 

there are also some fb pages where the ladies are really welcoming and it may help your wife, they are like my bible at the moment for any questions I may have 

there is also a book on Amazon that I purchased - a survivors guide to triple negative breast cancer - it has a blue cover 

the lady that wrote it is on some of the fb pages 

good luck with your journey … I won’t lie it’s a hard slog but you will get to the finish line 

Hi Saddler 1888

I had a lumpectomy nearly four months ago and lymph nodes removed, I’ve just finished my five days radiotherapy. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you and your wife take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. I waited three weeks for the results of my tests, but I was stage 1-2, each person varies so you might not have to wait as long. Please do not worry, the technology and medicines they have these days are incredible.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre with your wife, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, (although you sound like an amazing hubby) family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. Your wife may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and you get great support on here.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep yourself and your lovely wife as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourselves - I promise you, she will get through this. You are never alone and you both can always come and chat to us shower in here.

May I applaud you, for having the courage to come on this site and ask for help on behalf of your wife, she should be very proud of you.

Take care and my respects and good wishes to you both.xxx

What I found useful was talking before appointments and writing a list of questions. Then during the appointment, anything I forgot to ask, my partner would follow up on. He also summarised what the consultant had said and made a note of key things (it’s easy to forget when you’re very stressed). 

I wish you both well. It’s tough going and the direction of travel isn’t always forward but tackling it together helps. 

Hi, thank you very much for the response, it is reassuring to hear positivity and wish you all the very best moving forward.

Hi, thank you so much for the reply, excellent idea to arrange something after appointments, I’ll be sure to do this, we had the MRI today, a small treat but some hot wings at the local KFC was in order.

all the very best moving forward and thanks again for sharing your journey. 

Hi, thank you so much for sharing your journey, it’s amazing to hear how well it’s gone for the people who have replied to my original post, its given me so much hope….fingers crossed after the MRI today we see no further spread than where it has already been detected.

we have an appointment on the 5th of August with the oncologist, I’m hoping they will discuss our plan and treatment, everything has moved very quickly, I believe my wife is ready to to press and and get treatment asap.

thank you again for sharing your journey with me, I wish you all the very best moving forward. 

Hi, thank you very much for the response, I’m taking all that advice onboard, I will 100% surround her with as much positivity as possible.

it does feel like we have to wait an eternity now after the MRI today, but I will pray every night it delivers us good news.

thanks again for all the advice, all noted and ready to push forward with. Best wishes.

Thank you for the advice, it’s something I will do before our appointment with the Oncologist Monday next week, so far I have been limited to interaction with nurses, today they would not let me in why the MRI was taking place.

she was in for what felt an eternity, I’ve never experienced emotionally the ride I went on whilst waiting, was I so pleased to see her afterwards.

thank you for the advice I will definatley take it onboard and move forward with it.

best wishes.