I had a biopsy on my left breast after finding a lump in the shower and having a scan it came back as cancerous cells and in my lymph node the tumour is 18mm CT scan came back clear but the MRI found a 6mm “something” on my right breast another biopsy was done and I’m waiting on that I dont understand most of what I’m being told as it’s all abbreviated on the notes I only know I’feel so guilty at the effect this has had on the family and friends and I can’t talk about it seriously with them I play it down constantly but feel so scared I’m hoping this forum will help me to cope as I feel like I’m hanging by a thread emotionally
Thank you 
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Hi Seb69. Sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with breast cancer. It's a terrible shock. I echo everything Cloudier has said.
Have you got a Maggie's Centre near you ? I found them really helpful. You can go along any time and talk to people who "get it" and are strangers, so you don't have to worry about what effect your feelings will have on them. And if you don't want to chat, you can sit and enjoy endless cups of tea and biscuits !
You can also ring the Macmillan helpline. Again, I found them very supportive. Sometimes I just wanted emotional support. Other times I asked them to explain some of the jargon. It is really hard to learn all these new words and processes when you're in shock.
Please be gentle with yourself, and give yourself lots of treats, whatever helps you to feel better. I ate way too much chocolate when I was first diagnosed ! I also had lots of bubble baths.
As Cloudier said, you will probably feel better when you have your treatment plan. But we all have bad days, as well as good days. It's okay to not be okay. The good thing is, you are not alone.
Thinking of you and sending lots of virtual hugs 
xxx
