Welcome to the Club

Hi BC24 , yes it’s definitely the club that none of us wanted to join! Sorry you are still in that horrible limbo land due to inconclusive tests. And re moving on/ forgetting you’ve had cancer/ getting old self back…. I haven’t had to go through half of what you have and currently are, but I feel that I have a new ‘normal’ and never really returned to whoever my old self was. I can’t forget I’ve had cancer as I’m still taking daily medication (Anastrozole) with all its sneaky side effects! And I’ve changed a lot of my ‘habits’ and lifestyle since my diagnosis so I don’t think cancer is ever that far from my thoughts. But I do enjoy my life, especially as I’ve been lucky to be able to retire, albeit earlier than planned which has had financial implications. Sorry to ramble! I think I’m trying to say that I do feel generally ‘in a good place’ but not because I’ve moved on or forgotten about my cancer. I’m still rattling around this site, over 5 years on! You may have come across it already, but I’ve found this article really useful over the years….xxx

www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/.../After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Hi BC24,

I was thinking about this the other day. It's like BC and AC for me. After cancer but not after treatment, as with most of us the daily Tamoxifen and 6 mthly Zoledronic acid. Both of which have side effects. My pulse is higher which I recently read is to do with Zoledronic acid. When I have a hot flush it effects me more than the first menopause did. I can feel faint, I don't know if it's because it puts my pulse up and bp down. It's not in your head and people being positive when it's not happening to them is just not helping. 

I have explained to some people how it feels, they just don't know what to say or how to react and why should they. Because they know 1 person who did well with treatment they think they can comment. I like the article that HappyFeet1 has recommended. I think they should read it, those people who feel cheering you up is being supportive. If they asked an open ended question like how are you they would permit honesty and you would feel supported. 

I suffer fatigue some days still on those days I fall asleep easily. I lie on the same fa and feel better once I have had a cat nap. Fatigue due to hormone blockers is real, I think half the people who take them get it. Hot flushes are massive I have to stop and take something off, I sweat and go bright red. I don't like dwelling on it and I'm trying to exercise some days but it's like something is pulling me back. I keep going, trying to combat the weight gain and effects if ageing. 

I hope that helps, I don't want to make you feel worse. This bl..dy weather doesn't help. I love looking at the colour returning and the days drawing out. The picture is of me on wear purple for Epilepsy day and the one with the headdress on. I have had to be a fighter for my son at times. We can do this, it doesn't define us we do that. Xx

Hey Happy Feet, thanks for your message and the article, that was brilliant thank you and I could relate to a lot of what was said so thank you.

What side effects have you been experiencing? I have changed this year from Tamoxifen to Anastrozole and I am wondering if my exhaustion , bone pain etc are down to these or just the usual after the chemo and radio.

just feeling like I am waiting for impending doom all the time and it’s a very odd feeling.

Hi Sabrina, first of all I love the photo , you look amazing and really nice to see!

I love the BC and AC that’s very apt - I love going swimming but find it hard to muster the energy to go, even though I know I should just do it and I would feel better.

i suppose I am maybe feeling a little depressed at the moment and I try to put the brave smiling face on to friends and family but I think deep down I am struggling with the enormousity of it all. And it’s hard to define what’s normal after treatment and what’s not.

thanks again for taking the time to respond , it’s greatly appreciated!

Four years is a long time to be feeling like this. What about speaking to your GP. I have a low dose of an Antidepressant. I have just accepted that I need it. At 68 yes I need to try and live. No on knows how long they have left. The warmer weather usually cheers everyone one up a bit. I am flying for the first time this month for 2 yrs. Life has become less spontaneous, I make the rules now. Iam happy to put my legs up on the sofa more. Thank you for your reply. It really is about just doing it, not thinking, just getting out. Some days I am laclustre but I have to keep trying. Xx

Hi BC24 , the side effects I’m sure about are fatigue (more mental than physical for me), joint pain, especially in my feet, brain fog and a general lethargy. I’m also more anxious, rather than down or depressed. I’m on Anastrozole for a further 2 years and if I get to the end of that without a recurrence, can hopefully ‘lose’ some of these side effects when I stop taking it. Xx