Recent diagnosis and feeling anxious - lost the 'old me'

Sending massive hugs. I live alone and felt that I've gone through surgery, chemo and radiotherapy alone. Have great friends but didn't want to burden them. Even though they've since said they didn't know what to say or do. 

My albolute best tip is to write 'vouchers' for things like... cool me a meal, clean my bathroom. Hoover, do my shopping... that you can cash in when you need them, without feeling guilty.

Am here if you want to chat 

Hey digr, just to say thank you so much for your reply, you sound really inspiring. That's a lovely idea for friends who have supported you. I'm at an early stage for that but I'm going to think about best ideas.

I'd love to chat again, please can I get back to you in a day or so after I get this scan over? Would like that

Suze 

You are, in my opinion, from my experience at the worst stage. The waiting, the constant tests and changing plans is SO frustrating, albeit necessary.  I didn't want to tell anyone till I knew what I was dealing with. Please use this forum to rant or let off steam without feeling worried about it. Don't hold it in. 

Everyone is different. But I am now recovering from a mastectomy and reconstruction and awaiting the results from my node removals. I'm not as frustrated as I was at the beginning as I'm more prepared/used to it. 

Remember, despite the frustration, they want to get the right plan for you, so it's worth doing it properly from the outset. I hope you are able to find something you enjoy to distract you. But defo use this forum.  It's a rollercoaster of a journey, but you will get there in the end. Massive hugs xxx

Ahh, Ricepud, your name is great, lovely of you to reply. I guess I've never had much patience and only feel that I can operate when I have a plan. Its worse when it's so personal of course. I chose to tell people only because they would have known immediately that something was seriously wrong - I've never been able to hide my feelings.

I so appreciate hearing from you and wish you well for your recovery, please let me know how things are going with you. I return your massive hugs, virtual ones are good and they come from the heart xxx

To be honest, I didnt tell anyone cos I knew I would cry with their well meaning reactions which would make them more sympathetic and make me cry even more. Plus not telling was prob just my way of carrying on as if nothing was happening...made it less real. 

Everyone is different and there's no right/wrong way of dealing with stuff (wotever works for you).  Big virtual hugs back.

BTW I LOVE rice pudding!!!

Sending hugs and positive vibes! I was recently diagnosed after a routine mammogram done mid December. I had to return for further testing in beginning of Jan and after a biopsy received my diagnosis two weeks later. From there things moved very fast and I had a lumpectomy and lymph node removal and am awaiting results for further treatment plan. I would have to agree with the others on here that the waiting is hard because of the uncertainty. I try to be mindful each day by getting moving, eating healthier and meditation. Different things work for different people as we are all not the same but mostly I try to be present in the moment and in what I am feeling. Journaling works for me and I’ve only just started to do this again as well as look for the joy in little things. Although I have my small family I still find this a lonely journey. 

Thank you for this lovely positive reply, it's good to hear from people in a similar position, makes you feel less alone.  Motivation is difficult and I agree that it can be a lonely time. Friends are invaluable and want to help, but one piece of advice I had from my sister about how to be with your close friends is to try to be at least a bit like your old self, doing things with them that you always did and not being a 'victim' or making them feel they have to be your 'carers'. Sounds tough but I can see the reasoning.

Just to hear from people like you on this site is brilliant- we are not alone and we won't let this beat us - thank you again for being there xxx

Hello Suze How are you doing today? It is true that your "old self" seem to have hid away and the new you is someone you don't recognised anymore. I think it is normal to feel like this with our news but, I am slowing starting to embrace the "new me" and starting to see another side of me. The new journey we found ourselves on, seem to have taken us somewhere that causes anxiety and worries to us, but what I also found that we have a brilliant way of finding strength and hope to kick this new chapter into some kind of normal shape for us. I like to think we have some control over the situation we are in, however, some days it does not feel like that. I bet you have a fabulous smile, so please keep smiling and do what you really enjoy doing, sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes your way. 

• Wow March, what a lovely message, thank you so much. I love all you say about finding a new you, though I bet the old you was pretty fabulous too. Your positive message made my day after my MRI yesterday (nothing like as bad as I anticipated, just a bit noisy). Please keep in touch, l'll try that smile (not sure about the fabulous bit !). Keep smiling yourself and enjoy the new you
• Suze xx