Waiting

Hi Hmmmmm,

I'm sorry you are in this position,  the unknown is the worse part. I found a lump in October and, to a long story short, it was found I had pre-cancerous cells in my left breast and breast cancer in the right plus the lymph nodes. The left breast needed 3 biopsies in the end to reach this diagnosis which did delay things. Just before Christmas I had a ct scan which showed it hadn't spread but there were two chest nodes that would be need to be removed.

Last Wednesday, my 53rd birthday,  I had a radical mastectomy plus lymph node clearance and a lumpectomy on the left breast. Surgery took 6 hours but I made it home for eight o'clock.  The surgery hasn't been too bad and once my drains have been removed I think I will feel even better. 

The wait for results to come through is the hardest but the team need the full picture before making the next step.  Remain positive and remember you can ask questions on the forum. 

Take care

Thank you for replying - it feels good to share doesn’t it! That must have felt like such a long wait - but ultimately it is important so the best decisions are made in terms of treatment. I am so glad to hear you are progressing well after your surgery and hope the next stage goes well too

i will embrace your positivity!

Hi Hmmmmm and welcome to the forum. Sorry that you find yourself in this club that none of us wanted to join! I was diagnosed at 59 and know exactly what you mean about not wanting to let people down at work - I was a special needs teacher and it was hard for the whole team when anyone was off sick. But I had to learn (which took a long time) to put myself first, something we’re generally not used to at all! So I’d say, try to prepare for being honest about your needs and temper your expectations of yourself. It’s great that you’re generally fit and well as that will aid your recovery I’m sure. Plus appropriate exercise during treatment can be hugely beneficial; walking became my sanity saver. You’re at the tortuous stage of waiting atm, I certainly felt so much better once I knew more about my particular beast and had a possible treatment plan. Roll on Monday! Love and hugs, HFxx

Thank you Happy Feet - I am determined to stay as fit as possible - walking is a big part of my life too and I will do my best to keep that up - it sounds as though it has worked for you which I find very encouraging

My husband is very supportive and will come to the appointment with me on Monday. I am sad that I will likely have to give bad news to my children (in their 20’s) as I don’t want them to worry about me

i think I am just generally sad at this turn of events!!

But it is good to put things in writing here x

Hi Hmmmmm , telling my kids (also in their 20s at that time) was definitely the worst bit for me. But they coped. I had waved my daughter off at the airport, having only told her that I had a lump that needed to be removed. I knew it was likely to be cancer at that point but she had just graduated and was off for a month’s coveted research placement in a jungle, then travelling on to Australia, possibly for 2 years! I couldn’t bear to burst her bubble of excitement and enthusiasm, so played it down big time. I’d had a benign lump removed several years before so just implied that it would be the same procedure and no big deal. It was horrible finally telling her on the phone when she’d reached Australia (very patchy internet in the jungle plus she was with complete strangers, whereas she had met up with a friend in Oz so had support.) And my son lives in Canada atm so had to tell him on the phone too! My daughter did confirm recently that, if I’d told her the full story before she left, she wouldn’t have gone. So it was the right decision to delay, and by then I’d had the op and results, so there was definite information. And possible to put a positive spin on it: small, early stage, very treatable. It’s natural to worry most about the effects on our children. But they can prove more resilient than we might fear. Glad you have your husband to go with you on Monday. Good for support plus a second set of ears. And I agree about writing stuff here, it’s a safe place to pretty much say what you like. Xx

That does sound tough Happy Feet - you sound like a close family which is a great source of strength wherever they are in the world - and I’m glad your daughter was able to follow her dream

whatever the news I will also put a positive spin on it for their sakes (and mine!) X

Hi Hmmmm. Waiting is the worst part in my opinion. I found a lump in Oct. Unfortunately every time they made a plan they found something else.

I waited for my son to come home from uni to tell him face to face and then told my siblings and mum .Having unexpectantly lost my bro 6years ago then my sis having a severe stroke 5years ago, then my dad died...I knew they would crumble and felt awful, but worse if i didnt tell them.

I've just got home today from a mastectomy , reconstruction and sentinel node removal. Ill be honest I cried when I saw myself in the mirror 1st time yesterday after the op. But the important thing is the histology results in 2weeks...more waiting.

Reading and writing on here is SO helpful. Ask the medics or on here anything and everything...nothing is silly or embarrassing.

Totally get the guilt about letting folk down. But I've had to give myself a strong talking to as if I was talking to a friend and realise the importance of my health...if not for me, then for my family.

Sorry for long message, so many stages and emotions to deal with. Big virtual hugs and best of luck xxx

Thank you for your message Ricepud -  you must be exhausted and generally knocked about after the procedures so it’s no wonder you are feeling emotional. A huge step forward though and I hope you recover well from the operation 

yes - more waiting - but hopefully less than the stint you have already put in!

I do appreciate you messaging - it helps calm me down knowing that the wait is part of the process and we will get through it

take care xx