Feeling really rubbish today

Hiya Kat,

I was diagnosed with Myeloma in December and like you, I think I have done damn well coping but I have my first chemo tomorrow. I care for three people, my elderly mum, my brother and my seventeen year old daughter. They all have health issues and I do a lot for them all. The scary thing for me isn't the treatment per say, but like you said, the coping with the treatment. I mean, life doesn't stop even though we are ill, as much as people would expect it too. Maybe you can pull in some extra help from somewhere? Easier said than done I know x

Exactly that, the pressure to keep things as normal as possible for my primary school age daughter, to try and keep working so I don't have to use up the little sick pay that I have left and everything else!

Good luck with your chemo! Fingers crossed for as milder side effects as possible! 

Hi Kat132

Rubbish days are rubbish aren't they.  Have you spoken to citizens advice about a claim for Personal Independence Payments (PIP).  I was awarded PIP and it has made a massive difference - if I am unable to drive it pays for a taxi, if I am unable to cook it fills the freezer with ready-meals, it pays for a cleaner and someone to cut the lawn in summer etc.

Think about your friends who all say "let me know if I can help".  They mean it but don't know where to begin.  Make a list of responsibilities they could take off your shoulders for the next few months, could be coming in to give the bathroom the once over, getting the laundry done each week, picking up/minding the kids, driving you to appointments etc.  if you ask them to help in a specific way it means one less thing for you to worry about and they are filled with a sense of purpose and goodwill.  You would do it for your friends so give them the opportunity.

If chemo goes well with minimal side effects then fab, you can resume normal operations, however you have a plan put in place in case you are too unwell to be fully yourself.

Again, speak to Citizens Advice about sick pay, plus Employment and Support Allowance based on National Insurance contributions or Universal Credit, support is out there but it can be overwhelming trying to organize it when you are unwell.  Make sure school/nursery are aware of the situation so they can help the kids too, they are glad of the info.

Taking control, having a plan, outsourcing whatever I can has got me through to the other side of chemo.  I hated the fact that the diagnosis took away my sense of control.

Hope this helps a little, you are doing great, just a rubbish day which will pass.

Sending hugs

BexF

Hi, sorry you've had a rough day, it's hard sometimes, isn't it?  Don't forget, the lovely folks at Macmillan are at the end of the phone if you need to chat anything through. You can call them on 0800 808 0000.  Best wishes 

Hi Kat132

How are you doing today?  Hope you are feeling a bit more yourself, thinking of you xx

BexF

Ah thank you yes feeling much better today. I guess its just up and down thank you for thinking of me xx