New member - carer

Hi Biggles266, sorry to hear of your wife’s diagnosis and that you have suffered with depression and the recent collapse. Do you go with your wife to her chemo sessions? I think most hospitals now allow partners to go in to. That way you could do all the treatment things together. It would get you both out of the house. If your hospital has a MacMillan or maggies centre you could visit there too together. The volunteers are fantastic and are more than happy to chat and offer any advice. Depending on how your wife feels maybe you could go out together rather than leave her alone at home. Whilst I was having my treatment my husband came along and cared for me. He also had to take on the duty of looking after our kids too. We are 53 and 57. If you have a chat with the MacMillan nurses they maybe able to offer some advice on some clubs to join so you don’t feel so lonely. Sorry I noticed you mentioned the biggest problem is being housebound, does this mean you are unable to get out of the house ? Or you are housebound because of your wife’s treatment and she doesn’t feel up to going out? 
Sending lots of hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Hi Biggles266, so sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. Carers are so important, you need looking after too. Before my cancer treatment I used to volunteer at a local community hub that was there for people to go along to, to have confidential chats about any hardships they were going through, including physical and mental health. We signposted people to other groups they could go along to locally. If there are any groups like that near where you live don't be afraid to pop in. It's a sad fact, but there will be thousands of other carers like you, it might be helpful to connect with some near you. All the best to you and your wife, take care x

Hi Biggles266

Soory to hear that your wife has cancer and that suffer from depression. There’s a Carer’s only forum that you can join to get support from other carer’s. You will find it in the Cancer Experiences Forum group list on the website under Explore the Online Community.

Wishing you both the best of luck,with everything.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Many thanks for your kind response.

Many thanks for your kind response

Many thanks for your kind response. I will certainly try the carer group that you suggested.

Hi Biggles266

It really is rubbish isn't it, all this cancer business coming along and throwing our lives into chaos.  I am so sorry that you and your wife are going through this.

My hubby was diagnosed with melanoma skin cancer in Sept 2022 and has had the surgery and has just finished 12 months immunotherapy.  Meanwhile I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Nov 2022, had surgery in Feb 23, had chemo then radiotherapy and am still receiving targeted drugs therapy for another 4 months.

So we have both been caring for each other in different ways, as required.

The mental health support (counseling) has been invaluable at this time, just speaking on the phone about everything has helped keep perspective and helped release emotions/frustrations in a safe place.

Although we do not have any Maggie's/MacMillan centres near us (Wales), we attend a physio support group for anyone who has a life altering condition at the local St David's Hospice drop in centre.   Lots of coffee and chat with people who have many different conditions, we have learned a lot of useful hints and tips, had social interaction and kept our spirits up, oh and a few gentle exercises too.  They also provide art workshops, plus alternative therapist so we have both received massage, crystal healing and reflexology.  Some of the attendees are in wheelchairs, use crutches or sticks, use oxygen tanks, a whole range of ages and the staff do everything in their power to make it accessible to everyone.  A weekly godsend of an outing, even when I have felt so ill with chemo.

There is also the buddy system where you can connect via telephone to someone who is in a similar situation if it is difficult to leave the house sometimes?

Please remember that it is equally important that you care for yourself as well as your wife, what would you say to a friend who was in your situation?  Mental and physical health are equally important for both of you, reach out if you need support at any time, we are here to help where we can, 

Best wishes

BexF

Than you so much for your kind response. I will look into any local services that may be available.