Reaching out

Hi,

Sorry to hear you're struggling tonight. Here is a safe space. It's quite a roller coaster ride, isn't it?

I was diagnosed in September, had mastectomy and saw the oncologist on Tuesday. 

Thanks so much for replying. Yeah it’s definitely been a funny old few months! I had surgery last month and got my appointment with the oncologist at the end of December. Was initially told I would just need radiotherapy but now been told it will probably be chemo as well. How are you coping with it all? I’m attempting to do all the positive coping tools you’re supposed to use but sometimes I just don’t have the energy and then feel guilty for not doing everything I should be doing x

Hi, sorry you are struggling tonight. I had surgery followed by radiotherapy last year. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. I found people really kind on here. I also found chatting to the Macmillan nurses a great help. I wish you all the best.

Thanks so much. So glad I plucked up the courage to come on here tonight. Feels better to get this stuff out rather than just lay in bed and ruminate on stuff x

Sorry to hear your are struggling tonight. I was diagnosed in June and had 3 operations and had radiotherapy in November. Just be kind to yourself and take it day by day. It’s good to talk on here as there is lots of support. 
I wish you all the best with your journey. X

I had my surgery at the end of October. I was originally told a lumpectomy, radiotherapy and hormone blockers and thanks to an MRI finding a few extra bits, it's been a mastectomy and now chemo, radiotherapy, targeted therapy, hormone therapy and something else. I'm waiting for the crash to come at the moment. I saw the lumps on my MRI when attending for a second biopsy and while I'm no expert, I knew enough to know what was coming (I work in healthcare). At the moment I'm just glad the body scan was clear and I'm focused on the first piece of good news I've had in months. I'm sure everything will hit me again when I attend the 'Preparing for Chemo' session. I think it's concentrating on some practical preparations which is keeping me together at the moment.

Don't be too hard on yourself for not having the energy - some days you just need to do whatever you want to/or not. You are probably still recovering from surgery and the emotional impact, I find, makes you so weary.

I do try and think about 3 things I'm grateful for each day, to find something good to focus on, although some days it's a struggle to find 3 things. When I struggled between recall, finding dimpling, the 1st appointment to getting results, I was a right mess. I started a diary (I'm not a diary person). It did help a bit, but I haven't continued since surgery. I might start again.

Thanks so much. As much as I know these forums are a safe space to share the scary stuff I still feel like I’m a burden or that I’m upsetting other people. I also work in healthcare and feel much more comfortable in the looking after role rather than being looked after! I’m glad you’ve been able to find some comfort in your body scan results and hope you can keep focusing on the positives. I have a list of stuff to focus on in my phone and keep meaning to get a journal so I can write down the things I have to look forward to and the positives so will take your advice and buy one tomorrow x

I'm definitely more comfortable being the care giver too.

You are not being a burden. If someone you were caring for said that to you, what would you say to them? I'm sure you would tell them they weren't being a burden. (I did have that conversation with myself too at one point and a friend said the same thing). You won't upset anyone here - one thing I've learnt is we all have times where we need support and have either had or are having similar thoughts.

We are allowed to look after ourselves too. 

Thanks so much. I think it’s the classic nurse response; do as I say not as I do! I work in mental health and say to my patients all the time ‘speak to yourself like you’d speak to your best friend’.I’m really trying to do that but it’s just so heartbreaking seeing the people you love getting upset because they’re worried about you and having to down play your actual feelings to help them feel better. At times I just want to scream and cry and feel utterly selfish! I feel awful putting this stuff on other people who are going through the same! Going to look in to some specific counselling support where I can just unleash this crap on someone who’s trained to deal with it and who I won’t feel guilty about being completely honest with x

Do you have a Maggies center near you?