Hi , I’m new here you all sound super supportive, amazing & so so Brave ….

Lovely to hear from you, but im definitely not brave , im petrified, vain, selfish, crying,  angry, p****d off, and any other random emotions you can think of.

Cant believe my life can be blown out of the water in a matter of days

Hi both. I think you are both brave and amazing and whilst it doesn’t feel like it at the time you are still dealing with it arnt you? You will get through this. but it’s scary and painful and all a bit crappy but you will still do it. And so if you shout or cry or feel fed up that’s all completely normal and doesn’t take away from your ability to get through it. This is tough and you need to vent. 

you also have all the other amazing people here to support you throughout. Keep posting. Keep reading. You will see how similar we all are. 

hugs to you both x 

so sorry, I hope I’ve not made it worse . I’m already finding it comes in waves and I’m trying to be positive cos that’s what everyone tells me is important and I’m just naturally that way inclined. I can only speak for myself and I hope like me you’ll find something to keep your spirits up. I went in the sea yesterday it was freezing and for me it helped invigorate my love for life and determination it’s gonna last longer . X

No,  not made worse at all, as you say comes in waves, a rollir coaster of emotions. 

Eyebrow semi permanent tattoo assessment today !!! And the sun is shining.

Gym to feel strong then a tad of gardening i feel 

You went in the sea!!!! What the heck you are hardcore, I love it. Good for you. I’m still working at the moment so have to be up in a few hours. I am literally like a walking zombie I just don’t sleep since my diagnosis. I’m trying to hand off some work today and tomorrow to my team which I feel bad about but they are being great about. Then I’m taking some time off after first chemo on Thursday. 

I am thinking of knitting some Christmas decorations for the tree as a way of occupying my mind whilst I’m off work as I really do struggle to sit still for long. 

Hopefully I will still be able to get out to walk too. But trying to see how I feel.

Where you getting your eyebrows done viv? 

Sounds like you are keeping yourself busy. Gardening and gym both great activities. Once this portacath has healed I’m hoping to do some more activities too. take it easy. X

Its a local girl who my sister used (not chemo related) she was so sweet to me.

Then said shw liked my hair colour that then set me off again .

Ive decided i haven't got the right wardrobe for this bloody disease. Too many dresses and jumpsuits not enough tops and bottoms.

Not only am i thr wrong age, ive got the wrong clotbes !!! FFS.

Bit rubbish today, no sleep again and 3 hospital appointments to get through. 

Seem to spend all my time taking off my bra or my knickers !!!

I really admire you younger ladies with kids and jobs to keep going. 

I have very little to do other than be nice to myself  !!!! 

Trouble is it leaves too much time to think i suspect 

Yep, get used to displaying your boobs to every one.  Beware of wearing leggings, impossible to go to the loo in leggings if you have a cannula in your hand during chemo sessions, wear loose fitting dresses and possibly an incontinence pad just in case!  All that fluid has to go somewhere and you are nervous about moving around as it stops the drip and starts beeping so you sit still and "hold it" lol.  I also have to have injections into my thigh so easiest in a dress I can just lift up.  Loose cotton tops, paired with wide-legged trousers) are great post surgery and radiotherapy as layering helps to try and keep your temperature comfortable.  Lots of non wired cotton bras as you will be wearing them constantly and they get full of moisturizer after radiotherapy!

So much to look forward to !!!

Was considering buying some luxury lounge wear for chemo. Im a weight loss surgery person whose always freezing cold,  hoping to cold cap but not sure I'll be able to stick it