How to put it behind you?

Hi chezdog everything you are feeling is normal it has been a trauma that you have come through I feel exactly the same. When you go through treatment you have someone organising your life all through treatment and then at the end of it all it’s like you have bee cast adrift with nowhere to turn to. I found this article by a Dr Peter Harvey and it sums up exactly how I feel. This is the link https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf it takes a while for your brain to catch up with what has happened to your body but now you have time to think now that treatment has finished. I also did an online course with cancer coach it was once a week for 6 weeks and it gave you ideas on how to try to cope with your intrusive thoughts. I give myself 20 mins in a day to think about these thoughts then I write down what I can do with them or will it be a waste of my energy, or will it harm me and ways that I can deal with them. I also write down when something good has happened and I found at least one positive thought in the hope eventually my thoughts will be for living my life well. It would be a great Idea to get a counsellor to talk through everything. I think after treatment this is an area that really needs to be looked at so that we have a safety net to be able to talk through this trauma. There is always hope hun. Jxxx

I have just printed off what this psychologist says. My GP was talking to me yesterday about a delayed reaction. Such a lot to come to terms and cope with. I'm meditating and chanting with Kyle GrayHelps me to rise above it a bit. Had enough issues in my life to know when I need to disconnect from negative thought. Hope and prayers for peace of mind and a way through this stage. Radiotherapy imy next treatment. X

Hi Sabrina22 have you managed to read the article at all? It made sense to me as to how I was feeling and how others expectations of you when treatment was finished are. I have had people say to me well that’s all your treatment finished so you are fine now. It is the exact opposite my head has to catch up with the trauma and I still have 10 years of letrozole to take to help keep the cancer from returning. I know people mean well but sometimes they say some inappropriate things. Can you find Kyle Gray in you tube? Good luck with your radiation hun. Let’s keep a positive thought in our minds. There is always hope. Janexxx

Hi Jane, 

I haven't got time just now. Getting ready for my CT scan. Others don't really understand, they don't know what we or the professionals know. I put my husband and some friends right. Just grateful to have all this help on my side. Money from the NHS to fund it. Kyle Gray is on youtube. He has written books on Angels, became a medium at 15 yrs. Angel cards are a good way to get positive messages. Raise your Vibration is his most recent book. Xxx

Hi Sabrina I hope your ct scan went ok! I will certainly look Kyle Gray upon you tube. I find something positive in each day and it has certainly helped me through treatment. There is always hope! Jxxx <3

Absolutely, just the glimmer of sun and being able to walk without getting wet. Just been reading about Sarah Beeny, bless her. Brave to put her story out there, lost her Mother to BC at 10. Hope and healing for us all. I did the chanting meditation at bedtime, no time during the day. It helped me sleep I think. X

Hi Janicol

Thank you so much your reply. Sorry it’s taken so long to reply, it’s been a busy time at work.

The article was very useful and completely sums up how I feel. It’s reassuring to know others feel like this and it is a normal part of the process. So much wasn’t on offer to me during Covid ie reconstruction, wig support, proper prothesis opposed to the softie. 

i feel I coped really well with everything at the time and for a while after but I think I didn’t allow myself time to process and it’s catching up with me. I want to feel like “me” again.

I have booked in to talk to the breast surgeon about pros and cons of reconstruction. 

I think counselling might be good so that might be my next step.

One question I want to ask and hope to find some answers on here is can having chemotherapy bring on early menopause or cause issues. I’m 44 now and was diagnosed at 42. Since the treatment finished nothing has been the same!!

C xx

Hi Chezdog, I think the chemo can affect periods. I have been on chemo since Dec last year. I had a period end of dec and nothing since so maybe chemo does have an affect.  Are you on hormone tablets? I think these too can have an effect. Hopefully there are others who have had similar issues and might be able to offer advice otherwise it might be worth having a follow up chat with your oncologist. 

Wishing you all the best.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Hi cuffcake

im not on any hormone tablets. Periods since chemo are every couple of months and vary. I’m having a blood test in a couple of weeks to check hormone levels. I think at the time of having the chemo I had so many other questions that this one never came about I suppose I assumed after the end of treatment things would return to normal. I’m also wondering how low I’m feeling could be linked to hormones not just the anxiousness of will the cancer return. 
Im used to being such a strong person but feel less in control of my emotions.

really appreciate the replies xx

Hi Chezdog, yes hormones do seem to get our emotions going. I can understand the anxiousness about whether the cancer would return again. It’s something I think that will stay with us all. Perhaps talking to a Macmillan nurse would help, or maybe they could recommend someone to talk to to help. 
Wishing you all the best for your blood test and hope they can sort it for you.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x