Hello. Newly diagnosed advise needed

Hi Rizzo74gb, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Once you know your treatment plan it will make things much easier. The waiting is always the hardest part of the journey but your medical team will guide you through it. Take one stage at a time to avoid it becoming too over whelming. We told our kids (12 & 15) the day I went for my 2nd mammogram, biopsy and ultrasound and we had been told that there was a suspicious lump found. To be honest we didn't beat around the bush we just told them straight out exactly what we had been told. Obviously we had not got full details at that point that was to follow and at every stage we have told them what's happening. We've hidden nothing as I knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride. I know everyone is different and that may not work for some people but I'm hoping others may offer advice how they told their kids so it will help you to see what would work best for you. The forum is a great place to get advice and support from others going through this journey. We are all at different stages and can share our experiences with you. Telling family and friends can help too as they will be able to support you through this. Again this needs to be when you are ready, for some it takes a little while for others they tell people straight away. The Macmillan chat line is good too. If you want you can click on my name and read my journey so far. Others also put their biographies up too which helps so you can see who has a similar diagnosis.

Wishing you all the best on your journey.

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Thanks for your reply I can already see a lot of info on here and a lot of people supporting each other. As I found out a few weeks before Christmas and was still having tests we have only said that I had found a lump and we are waiting for results if tests. Figured knowing how my daughter worries was better to explain everything inelce we know what we are doing about it. I have an aunty that is 5 years post op from what we think is same type of breast cancer. It's just annoying with Christmas that the ct results were not back in time   have been told I am definitely on the list to be discussed on Tuesday and hopefully will know more next week. 

It's the knit knowing that is getting me. I am trying not to sweat what I cannot control. I cannot change the diagnosis but I can co trol how I fight this and am ready to go into 2023 and fight this. 

Thanks for you message xx hugs xx 

Hi, sorry to read of your diagnosis and hope you get your treatment plan soon. I found it made such a difference to how I was feeling once I knew what the plan was.

Macmillan has a lot of support info, but this one might help you Telling People Link in terms of telling your son.  Best wishes 

Hi , sorry you have had to become a member of this exclusive club . It’s overwhelming when you first get diagnosed . I’m in my first year of remission . Finished radiotherapy last December and certainly this Christmas has been quite a reflective one for me . Regarding telling your children I have to say I just told my son as it was . He took it ok and I think preferred the openness and honesty . Also , if your kids are living with you it becomes pretty hard to hide what is going on . Remember , there is mother cannier than children who are suspicious !!! The support here is great and in the early days was a bloody life line to be honest . Love Penelope x

Hi Rizzo74gb

I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and the delay in knowing more.  I was only diagnosed recently too and I know how difficult it is during the first few weeks.  I felt like my life was thrown up in the air and didn’t know where the pieces would land.  But I’ve started the treatment journey and it helps once there is a plan in place to work through.  I’m currently recovering from my 2nd chemo dose.

I’ve got a 10 year old and 7 year old.  I found the McMillan website really helpful to think through how to tell my kids.  I didn’t want to hide it from them and they dealt with the information completely ok.  Obviously they had lots of questions and I tried to answer factually and let them feel that they could ask anything they wanted.  I also contacted their school so that if the teachers noticed a change in behaviour, then the school could offer support directly to my kids.  

Best wishes and feel free to message me if you want to chat further

Hugs, Sarah

Thabks for that will take a look x still unsure whether to tell her now before she goes back to school of when I have all the Info. 

Pelelopej57 thanks for responding I must say am finding the support and advice a great help. Me and my husband are at odds at moment I think we should tell her what we know now as I am finding it hard keeping my emotions I  check. He does not want to tell her anything until we know the treatment plan . She is very astute sure she knows there is something we are not telling her.

Am finding it hard to deal with hia co stant moankg  aswell. If its not his head he is not happy about somehing he has ordered or not happy in general. Cant seem to find aympathy for his cold while i am going through this xx. 

HibSarah thank you so much for your advise. Never thought I would be a member if this club but here I am xx 

The waiting is driving me bonkers I have constantly got headache from clenching my teeth all day and night :-( 

I am trying to larch on to the fact that all they have said so far is it is totally treatable . Trying to latch on to whatever positive I can find and do as advised in terms of treatment. 

Just can't believe my luck we were finally in a position where we could start planning nice things and had booked a few. It's like fate thought so you think you are planning things do you. We will see about that 

Finding it harder as the one person who would get me through everything in my life my dad is no longer with us . 

I have an auntie and a friend that has been through this journey and are several years clear now and their support is a great help. 

I am worrying about if they say I need chemo I am not good with things in my arms and my veins are not helpful haha. How are you finding chemo? 

I have been told I am on the list for next meeting Tuesday so will hopefully kniw more mid next week just want to get treatment what ever they deem is best started  

Hugs and thanks Becs xxxxx