advice for someone just after biopsy

Hello

I got diagnosed on Thursday of last week. Very obvious from my scans that my large mass is suspicious and indicative of cancer but needs the type confirming with the biopsy results. 

Honestly for the first 5 days I experienced absolute terror and every worst case scenario went through my mind. I am a single parent to a 6 yr old and I immediately wanted to make preparations for her care if I was to not survive. I’ve since realised that this response is entirely normal. 

At some point though I think our brains adopt a survival mode, I think it’s just not tolerable for our body and minds to experience that level of anxiety continuously so our brains seem to slow down and dampen down. I can honestly say that I no longer feel like I did in that first week. I feel somewhat numb but not terrified. Reading on here everyone’s courageous stories and understanding how far treatment has advanced has really helped me to feel much more optimistic and confident in my recovery. I really do believe that once the initial shock has been worked through things start to feel not so bad. It’s a process but the terror lessens and becomes a determination to fight. 

I hope this helps and you or whoever the patient is the very best of luck on this journey. 

Helen x

Dear Miss Tangled,

Thank you for writing. I feel very similar. The initial week after the callback for assessment was horrific. Not knowing what to expect. The day of tests alone was really bad too. To be told you have cancer, though no biopsy results yet. what you said about treatments and fighting gives me strength. I was advised the book understanding breast cancer and how to feel empowered. women are strong beings. congratulations on being a single mother. good luck Kybele

Hi there, I’m at the exact same stage.  Hospital appointment on Tuesday for biopsy results.  It feels like the time from finding the lump and diagnosis taking such a long time.  I’m in Spain so also having to deal with the Spanish NHS and language difficulties.  I think the best way to deal with it is to take each day as it comes, don’t do Dr Google and just try and be kind to yourself.  A time for self care.  In Spain all your medical records are online so I can see all my scans, notes etc so pretty sure I have a good idea what I’m dealing with.    I’ve not researched too much, too scary.  As I learn more about what I actually have then I’ll delve deeper.   I have a rather dark sense of humour, my scan shows a meerkat shaped mass.  The lump now named Sergei and the campaign to get rid of him now begins!

Dear Ochno,

It's so important to have a sense of humour. Good on you! How long did it take from finding lump to getting biopsy and from biopsy to appointment? I had a mammogram, a callback several weeks after, a week to wait, biopsy and now waiting for results and appointment. I agree I don't want to read much online.

I’m a bit of a saddo, better that than sad though.   I always say if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry and that seems to be the way I’m dealing with it.  Sleep patterns shot to pieces though.  

I saw my doctor on 3rd November, mammogram 5th November, then radio silence until 29th November when I got a call to go for ultrasound next day.  Ultrasound 30th with recall 2 days later for ultrasound guided core biopsy.  Radio silence again until yesterday when I got a call to attend breast clinic for results and haematology next Tuesday.   I already have a fair idea what I’m dealing with as when they called they put me on a three way call to have an interpreter join us and discussed my results in Spanish.  At this stage I just want to know for sure and start the eviction process.

thanks. I'm more sad but like the word saddo will work towards that. yes I agree we need to know, and help the doctors do their thing by keeping a positive outlook. easier said than done. waking up in the middle of the night is the worst. if you like classical music I love swiss classical radio which has ad free 24 music.

I like the sound of that, I’ve tried a white noise running water app but then need to get up to the loo too often.  Gave in last night, got up and made myself some hot milk, popped a little amaretto in and then slept like a baby.  Naughty I know but sometimes needs must.  

Hello Kybele; the waiting is brutal, and it's almost inevitable that your brain takes you places you'd rather not visit, especially in the wee small hours.  I found listening to the radio a real help as it gave me something to focus on.  There's some really strange stuff on the World Service though...

Best wishes.

Dear Sapphire, thank you. I agree that the radio helps. I usually listen to BBC 3 as classical music relaxes me, also like listening to podcasts. I'm also finding that reading poetry or listening to poetry and reading and listening to books really helps. Old books I love like Alice in Wonderland I think I will listen to again.