Hello everyone,
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2022. It came as a massive shock to me as it was so unexpected when I visited my GP and she told me what she suspected. It was confirmed by the hospital the following week.
I have had the 25 mm tumour removed and some lymph nodes. I have just come back today from my first consultation at a new hospital to discuss radiotherapy. I am to have two weeks of it. And then tamoxifen for ten years. They tell me it may cause an early menopause.
I feel exhausted! My family, friends and community have been fantastic supporting me. But I feel like I have come to a standstill in my life. I feel depressed, anxious and lost interest in almost everything. My GP put me on anti-depressants and said it was understandable with what I am going through.
I am so very use to an active lifestyle but all I want to do is just stay in bed. I am self-employed but I had to take sometime off for the surgery/recovery because of the job I do it’s very physical I cut my hours down to one day a week for now. But feel I don’t even want to go back to that job at all.
I feel like I want to change my career but don’t know where to start. I have a degree in psychology (counselling & health) and lots of experience working in my community.
im not sure what I want to get out of writing this post but I know I am talking to people that understand. I feel like my family and friends don’t understand it’s not just a cold I am being treated for and it will all be well once it’s treated. I’m really struggling mentally. Everything has happened so fast with appointments and surgery to now having to go through radiotherapy and then being on these tablets for a very long time. I can’t just forget about what is happening to me.
Thank you for reading.
Hello I wanted to just say you are not alone and really don't give up. I am midway now through my plan, I've had a left mastectomy, chemo and I'm having radiotherapy (got my planning date this week). I am fortunate that I get paid sick so I've taken it. At first it was awful and i just felt i had been replaced but now when I think of going back I just don't have the same interest. I've considered if this is a positive of cancer because someone actually said to me the other week that it's a wake up call early enough in your life to hear it and do something. I was quite astounded but every day that passes I think she is right. I'm not gping back to work like I did before... I want to change and I want to make the most of my life. If you don't have cancer thrust upon you would we have seen this ?
I also know how you feel about just laying in bed, I've done that too... I have good days and bad ones but once I started my treatment and I couldn't be active I started to rebel.... so I did go out and run, cycle and swim. I felt vile sometimes but I still went and I felt in control.
I realise now we cannot go back so moving forward is what we have....I'm just making plans for what the forward looks like and its going to be better. 
you are not alone in your thinking but I will say that I don't actively share my thoughts on this to friends and colleagues....I don't think they will ever get it !!!
