I am not really sure what to write as I don't want it to be a massive outpouring of my emotions lol...
I am 35, a mum to a little girl who will be 2 in September and I have just been diagnosed on Monday after finding a lump in my right breast. At first I put it off thinking it was to do with breastfeeding but the lump didn't go away so I saw my gp who sent me for 2ww clinic. They have said that I have a 2.5cm mass in my right breast and impacted lymph nodes on that side but they also have concerns about the left breast too. I have had biopsies taken from the right to find out more about what type/stage etc and whether it has spread and i am booked for a separate vacuum biopsy on the left in 10 days time. I have a meeting on Friday coming to talk with consultant about biopsy results and treatment plans in the meantime so we.can start as soon as possible.
I have soooooo many questions and emotions right now but I was wondering if anyone is in or has been in a similar position that can share experiences with me? These are some of the main questions:
1) How do I explain to my almost 2 year old what is going on? We have had to stop feeding to sleep which is really heartbreaking as neither of us were ready and have explained that mummy is poorly but obviously if I need surgery/chemo (which seemed to be what the consultant was looking at from what she said to me last week) I'm going to be a lot worse before I get better. It's been a struggle these last few days since the first set of biopsies and I've got more on the other side to come and thats before any treatments start.
2) What should I prepare myself for with regards to the vacuum biopsy? I am terrified of needles and the biopsy I had on right was bad enough, from what I understand this other one will be worse but I don't really know what to expect.
3) is it normal to have blood like discharge from the nipple after a biopsy? As mentioned before, I have had to stop breastfeeding very quickly (we fed on Monday night as normal but that was our last one). To avoid too much pain from engorgement I have had to try to hand express a little bit to relieve some of the pressure which had been fine until last night. I barely touched my right breast and it started to leak some blood like discharge (not a lot but between this and the pain im getting its a little concerning). I had nothing like this before the biopsy, just milk. I was going to call the clinic or cancer nurses number I was given but they are only open Monday to Friday.
4) is it normal to have really swinging emotions about the whole situation? I go from feeling its not real, talking like its happening to someone else to anger at how unfair it is, to pure anguish and despair feeling like everything that can go wrong is going to where I really struggle to get out of my head and stop thinking worst case scenarios about it all. I feel like such a mess because I can't think straight. We haven't told a lot of people yet as we want to wait until we know how bad it is and what treatment plan I will have, so I am having to try and act normal like everything is OK. Its exhausting.
Is anyone in a similar boat? Any advice anyone can provide about the above or just the whole situation would be really appreciated. So sorry for such a long post. Thank you if you got this far.
