Waiting for treatment plan

Hi, it’s really late and scary thoughts are whirling through my head so decided nows the time to join the community.

I had a lumpectomy and positive nodes out last week which I thought would bring relief but in act I’m just more scared and terrified of chemo and losing myself. 

I am 49 and honestly not had a single day sick for over 20 years so everyone just seems to assume I’m strong, brave and resilient but I don’t feel any of those things and treatment hasn’t even started yet.

anyone else in my situation? xxx

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the community. Sorry you find yourself here but hopefully you’ll find lots of support and shared experiences. I think we’ve all had that late night horror and dread of what’s to come. Please be reassured that it will feel better once you know exactly what you’re dealing with and have that all important treatment plan. I didn’t have chemo but lots of folk here did and are doing atm so you will never be alone. 
    Re being off sick and being strong…. Now is the time to take all the time you need and to lean on others. I’ve never been good at asking for help and was all set to have a couple of weeks off for my op then straight back to work - but ended up with 4 months in total. 
    Others will pop in with situations that will be closer to yours, I’m over 3 years down the line now. But I wanted to reach out to you with a big virtual hug in the meantime. There is a thread about chemo when that time comes, and another called Awake where people often post in the wee sma’ hours when things always seem the grimmest. Love and gentle hugs, HFxx

    HappyFeet1 xx
    Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi
  • Thank you, it felt weird posting but your message gave me some relief. I find you just can’t ‘use up’ the people around you as people are busy and of course how on earth can anyone relate… 

    Am really hoping to meet someone on the journey as a buddy but as that’s not guaranteed here is the perfect place.

    Take care xxx

  • Hi, I'm a year into diagnosis and treatment and had chemo, surgery, radiotherapy, Phesgo injections and my prescription note helpfully tells me to take my tablets daily until 2031!  Like you, I am never sick, have a busy full time job and a busy life.  I luckily managed pretty well through chemo and took some time off after surgery.  My biggest learnings though were around accepting help and support from others, this was difficult at first, but helped me through.   Best of luck and as HappyFeet says, lots of great support on here