It's all a bit scary

I had really severe back pain from the radiotherapy table, I think I may have pulled a muscle getting on and off it.  if you have any worries at all call your breast nurse, sometimes that extra reassurance is all you need.  I know what you mean about the C word, I think it is a process, well it was for me.  First cancer was something that happens to other people, then the thoughts of what did I do wrong, If I had eaten better, drank less, exercised more, then acceptance that it is what it is.  And for me these emotions didn't line up in an orderly fashion I could have them all in one hour of a day.  Talking, when you are ready, and choosing who you want to talk to is useful.  You will find your way through but talking to other women on here going through the same things was really helpful for me.

I had the same, very bad back straight after surgery, wondered what I had done to cause this. My friend, an ex G.P. said this was a good sign - that the Surgeons who operated had been heavily bearing down on my body, ferreting around in tissues to make sure absolutely all of the tumour removed. The operating table is very very hard.

Exactly it's the shock too then it's the self loathing and now I daunt eat my favourite foods cos of fear of my cancer returning. I love tongo out fir drinking poos with friends now I'm scared I can't it's a change of lifestyle now a boring one ha.

Hi. Like you I found the word cancer to be frightening as it was found in routine mammogram and I had friends who couldnt say the word either. One called out the breast thing and the other the c word so to make it easier for them I have it a name, mine was cancer clare so they could ask how clare was etc.

I also had pains in my back and even though I knew they had not cut my back open it felt as if they had. I'm glad I wasn't the only one. When I mentioned this to a nurse and one of the consultants, not mine as he was on holiday,  the consultant laughed and said that the surgeons were brutal when they operated. I had my op in September and would very often have a pain go from under my arm into my breast which could knock me for six and take my breath away. I did all about that on this forum and was told it would stop suddenly, which it has.

This is a great place to ask questions and if people can they will give you good advice. All the best and keep up the arm exercises as you will need them later on.

Have a great Christmas and new year. 

Don't use the word, use BC

I could not bring myself to say it too, once you have more acceptance then u will feel differently.

Be kind to yourself, I also experiemce emotional healing is trailing behind physical healing, but that is OK...

It does all happen very quickly, which is a better thing than if you're left to wonder and waiting.

Take care 

Cx